He's Killing You
by RebelYouth
Summary: Clary is a beautiful girl she has the perfect life, boyfriend and loving family not to mention the best modeling career of a life time but what If that's all a lie what if her boyfriend is the reason she's lost and killing herself slowly because he said a few simple words that tore her apart inside, but within the diet pills and self harming she meets someone meant to save her.
1. Chapter 1

_**Okay so here's chapter one of my serious book this book is my plan to bring awareness to some certain body issues and most importantly by the end I hope it teaches you to love yourself because no matter what you're beautiful babes merry Christmas**_

_Chapter one_

I lay on my knees in the bathroom forcing myself to throw up the piece of pizza I had just eaten with my brother. All I felt as I hitched my gut out into the toilet bowl was self loathing and numbness. That and the blood running down my arm from the fresh cut I had produced a moment earlier. Not that it would be there for long, tomorrow i'd be with my boyfriend Sebastian and at my modeling agency. Where they would cover my cuts and scars while all the friends I had made there would stare at me scared for my own life. Finally my stomach stopped and I leaned back wiping the resedue from my mouth gently. Millions of things raced through my mind was it normal for a nineteen year old girl to feel this? I used to feel so alive and normal when i'd first started modeling at seventeen. I'm told I have the perfect life a perfect dark and handsome boyfriend a nice loving family but all of it is fake almost. All I could think of now was how did I let it get this far?

_**A year earlier**_

I came back from my photo shoot happily walking down the side walk to my apartment building. The day had been perfect especially the victoria secret shoot I had been hired to do. Unlocking my apartment door 217 on the top floor I walked in to find my boyfriend Sebastian and I's apartment empty. Well apartment was an understatment it was more like a loft one that I had decorated beautifully actually. Walking over to the fridge I pulled out a box of pizza and started to watch netflix finishing off the box lazily. Ten minutes later while I was on the last slice Sebastian walked in and came over to the couch giving me a small kiss on the cheek. He sat there watching american horror story with me untill he noticed the pizza box. Sebastian raised his eyebrow at me and I looked back at him innocently. "yeah?" I asked confused at what his deal was at the moment. He took the empty pizza box and took the piece of pizza out of my hand going to throw it away. "Hey!" I shouted at him grabbing my piece of pizza who did he honestly think he was taking my food. "I was about to finish that" I said to him crossing my arms taking the last bite of it. All he did was just shake his head at me and stuff the box into the trash can. "What is your deal?" I said between muffled chewing of pizza. "How many piece did you have?" he asked me, why did it matter. "I had three why?" he was acting weird and I didn't like what he was implying.

"Clary you're getting fat you need to watch what you're eating just look at you"

Furrowing my eyebrows I walked over to the mirror and pulled up my shirt sebastian standing behind me. I was 5'4 and like barely a hundred pounds I saw nothing wrong with my weight but was there? No one had said anything about it.

"Clarissa come on look at you it's not like anyones going to say something to you about your weight but trust me you should see the looks people give you when they see your stomach"

What should it matter how much I weigh? Did people really give me looks though behind my back because they thought I was fat. I guess I could use to lose a few pounds...I guess.

"What if I don't want to lose weight"

"Then lets take it this way i've never had a chubby or fat girlfriend"

His words shocked me. How could he even say that to me he said he would love me no matter what I looked like. Did he mean he wouldn't care what I looked like unless I was skinny. Furious I stormed off to the bathroom and locked the door crying in the corner. Five minutes later there was a knock on the door. It was obvious it was him but I didn't care I didn't feel like talking to him. He was awful truly awful but I couldn't leave, actually yes I could. Unlocking the door I pushed past him and into our bedroom pulling down both of our bags and he just stood looking at me. "What is this?" he asked looking at me like I was crazy but I didn't care this was happing. "Me or you" I said like it was obvious "either you leave or I will." Sebastian grabbed his bag throwing it back up into the closet then followed by mine. "I can't go because I like it here to much" the look he gave me made fear rise inside of my gut. "Also because you're my little worthless hoe remember" he came around twisting my arm behind my back and cupping a hand around my neck so I was pressed against the front of his body. "Without me" he hissed in my ear "you're just another worthless bitch remember? just a pretty little face with no family." I tried to squirm away but he twist my arm harder and I cried out while he pushed me on the bed and locked the door. He got on top of me and I tried to slap at him but he held my hands tight above my head. "Try and leave me" he dared his eyes holding something dark in them "and i'll find you and I hope you know what i'll do to you." Scared I nodded knowing the bruises would be there tomorrow and i'd have to have my make up artist cover them once again. I thought he was done with this that once was the only time he'd do it. "Good girl" he said patting my face a little to harshly. His hands started to roam and began undressing me. It was just best to let him to this. It was true though without him I was nothing, Without Sebastian I was worthless.

The next day I hailed a cab alone and got in alone. I gave the driver the destination quickly and he took off towards my follow up shoot for Victoria Secret. Carefully I pulled out my blush and concealer trying to hide the small bruise on my cheek. While I was doing this I could his eyes were on my face. "Yes?" I asked politly I really didn't know how to be rude no one deserved to me barked at or hurt. The boy just looked at me, he seemed a little young to be driving a cab about my age eighteen or a year older which would make him ninteen. "Where'd you get that bruise ma'am?" and I just shrugged my shoulders as if I didn't know. As we sat in a small traffic jam he looked back at me. His hair was a golden blonde and his eyes like gold orbs staring into my green ones. Those eyes looked like they knew everything going on in my life. Slowly he extended me his hand and I took it. He took his away and inside of my palm rest a card and a number. It read Jonathan Herondale and then his number across the bottom. My eyes looked up at his face a small tear falling down my cheek. "Call me if you need to ever talk i'm not just a cabi you know" he said and wiped the tear from my eyes. For the rest of the ride we sat in silence as I proceeded to fix my face. I probably wouldn't call him ever but the gesture is what mattered to me the most. He stopped the cab and I got out careful not to trip over my stiletto's and started walking. His arm shot out though and he poked me gently. Turning around I smiled at him "what's your name?" he asked. "Clarissa but you can call my Clary Adele Fray" I said and a small smile formed on his lips.

"Well Clary Adele Fray if I happen to see you on a bill board which will likely happen with your carrer and your beauty then i'll make sure to keep you in my mind"

"Thank you Jonathan"

"Call me Jace goodbye Ms. Fray"

"Goodbye Jace Herondale"

Then he took off as I walked into the large building glad I had covered my small bruise.

_**Back to **__**Now**_

I never did see him again but I always kept him in mind. Whenever I got into a cab I just randomly hoped he would be in there but as the year past I gave up the hope. I continued to stay with Sebastian and it didn't stop but what could I do not leave him thats what. That's how this all started and it just kept getting worse. Now I was on the brink of breaking not that I let people know I was already broken mostly. I know what you're thinking did you keep the card? and yes I did. It's in my purse but not that i'd ever get the courage to call him. I bet he forgot about me anyway even if I was all over billboards with my fellow models and angels. Like Sebastian said I was nothing special and I could be forgoten and replaced any minute.

_**Hope you enjoyed this chapter it'll get better I promise and yes if you all are wondering this is and will turn in a Clace story probably not soon but it'll happen have faith and until next time merry Christmas once again**_


	2. Chapter 2

I got up in the morrning to find Sebastian was still out on business. Everyone knew that was a lie though what he really was on was some skany whore in a different state. What did I expect though I was never good enough for anyone lately. Not even my own brother and father could look me in the eyes and say they loved me. My mother well she and Luke had moved out to the country side and we still talked but we never talked face to face. Words could not ever explain how much I loved her, she didn't even have to say anything I knew I was her pride and joy. What did it matter though I was her daughter the youngest and her only girl at that she had to love me in a way. I wanted love not the friend or family kind not even the kind me and Sebastian had I wanted real love. Not poision that everyday I had to learn to swallow and take down that killed me slowly. Sighing I picked myself up out of bed and walked over to my vanity and chair. Sitting down I smoothed out my silk night gown and looked in the mirror. My blood red hair hanging down elegantly, blazing like fire against my glass like skin. The piercing green of my eyes went with the dark ring of gray going around them and of course making my features darker in a way. I was all natural in every way with my color of hair and everything else even though some people would like to try and argue otherwise. That's when my eyes drifted to my scared arms, poking ribs and brusies that were fading. Nothing about me was beautiful not anymore I wasn't some seventeen or eighteen year old godess anymore I was just me. Me is someone I didn't want to be. Slowly I refreshed my face with the special wipes Isabelle had reccomended for me saying they did wonders on her pores when she had been younger. Off came dirt and grime my other wipes had missed and I threw them all in the trash making my way to the bathroom. Pulling my hair up I splashed the cool water on my face and proceeded to brush my teeth for five minutes after removing my teeth whitening strips I wore at night. A lot went into my job and if anything it was important to have pearly whites. Yes they could always photoshop my body but I prefered to be all natural like all my other friends. Even if they tried though I have to sign a release form allowing them to send the photos out and if I even ever see a slight thing they did to fix me I make them undo it. I'm different from most model's you see most are like "Yes totally photoshop me!" but that dosen't make them any prettier in real life. What it does is make them liar and I want to be considered beautiful for who I really am not because some machine went and fixed everything society thought was "wrong" with me. Not that I was beautiful anyway but I guess a girl can try. Depression starting to take over my mind I trudged out to my kitchen and looked through the cabnits. "Damn it" I said under my breath searching for my diet pills. Sebastian had set the rule very clear I had to be a even one hundred pounds by the time he came back or I would regret it. Suddenly I remember where they had gone. My brother had found them yesterday and stuffed them into his coat pocket. "Jonathan!" I screamed to no one and grabbed my cell phone. I had to be at work in two hours and I needed those damn pills to take with my hour work out and then my cleansing session before I left.

After four rings he picked up the phone his voice groggy obviously I had woken him up. It was six in the morrning though he should be used to this by now. "Where are my pills?" I hissed into the phone and I heard him inhale a sharp breath. "Clare" he began but I cut him off rudly and desprate to have them back. "Please Jon" I whimpered into the phone crying "I need them more than you think." He sighed and I heard the sound of my pill bottle on the other end no doubt he was debating the effect if he did bring them. "Clare if he's hurting you" he was so stupid since when has Sebastian not hurt me in some way. "Just bring them or else he's going to hurt me worse you ass" I said and hung up. I knew I wouldn't have to worry Jon couldn't take it when I did that he always came when I said that kind of stuff. Thirty minutes later during my work out there was a knock on my door. "Come in!" I yelled out and Jon came in pill bottle in hand. Desprate and greatful my sweaty self jumped off the treadmill and walked over to him. Before I could even grab them he opened the bottle and dumped them in the garbage disposale. Screaming I ran over and turned it off grabbing a small little pill that had been untouched. I turned to face him and pushed him against the counter making a glass slam to the ground smashing pieces landing in my legs but I didn't care.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE HE'S GOING TO KILL ME I'M GOING TO GET FIRED YOU- YOU JERK OFF!"

Jon looked at me concern in his eyes as I picked the piece of glass out of my leg. Good thing they were only little pieces and I had nothing to worry about. All of a sudden I felt light headed and had to lean against the counter as I took the pill and threw the bottle away. He went to put a tender hand on my shoulder but I stepped away "just go please." Nodding he said goodbye sadly and closed my door leaving me alone in my dark apartment to wallow in self hate.

A little over an hour later I was walking into work pretending like nothing was wrong once again "how are you darling?" Jia asked me and I just smiled at her "i'm fine you?" we exchanged good morrnings and I started my ascent up the giant glass staircase leading off every where. Half way up I met my friend Isabelle and we began walking together. Out of all the girls Isabelle was the most beautiful of us. None of us said it out loud but it was a set agreement Kaelie however seemed to think she was the prettiest. It was quite funny actually to see her make a fool of herself while trying to prove it. Kaelie was no match for Isabelle's tall stature inevitable body and not to mention her raven hair that could slice through you possibly with one whip of her head. As we walked her chocolate eyes stared down into my mine seeming she was wearing some heels which she always did. Isabelle really didn't need heels she was already a giant compared to me but obviously guys were taller than her so she didn't see it as a problem. Her black heels clacked against the pure glass stairs as she chatted about the awful date she went on. While she talked I couldn't help but wonder how she hadn't slipped or feel yet being on this glass in those.

"Anyway long story short he was actually a fifty year old man with a lazy eye and wig"

"You're kidding!"

"No it was turly horrid!" she giggled

We both manged to be in hystric giggles by the time we made it to the room for our photoshoot. Pushing open the doors Isabelle walked in her game face on me behind her. Sometimes when she entered a room people stopped and stared like she was god like they were right now. This always happened when we were working with a new crew. I could feel some eyes on me though which happened to sometimes. "Well?" I called out sweetly then glaring "close your damn mouths and get to work!" Isabelle and I walked over still chit chatting to our seats and took off our coats crossing our legs like the lady like people we had to be. Magnus bane our long time friend since high school and owner of our company came over smiling. "Ahh" he said happily "my two most sucessful and wanted models have arrived" I rolled my eyes and laughed "yeah right magnus." It was now his turn to roll his eyes playfully a huge smile on his face "you're beautiful babes don't forget now go get in your pantie sets!" Izzy and I got up when my best friend Simon walked over giving me a huge hug making me feel slightly better. "Mind if I watch" he asked wiggling his eyebrows I slapped his arm and Izzy looked at him amused. "Perv!" I called out walking away from him over to my costume director and Izzy making her way over to hers. Simon and her wouldn't admit it but they totally had the hots for each other. Not that he hadn't totally struck out with her about five times. I always asked why she said no when she liked him and her reply was always the same "he's too nice and I'm not ready for a good relationship yet but thanks clare." Everytime I called bs but whatever it was her life. Alec handed me my outfit and grimanced at the sight of me. "Shut up lightwood" I said rolling my eyes stripping down to my already on under wear infront of him. Now I know what you're thinking CRAZY but no he's gay and Izzy's brother so actually it's ok. Turning around I slipped off my bra putting on the other one and then doing the same with my under wear. "So" I began while he adjusted the straps for me like he always did "how are you and magnus?" He began to blush and I knew it was going good he didn't have to say anything. "And speaking of people did you and maia switch between me and Izzy again?" I asked raising an eyebrow. He looked at me guilty and blushing of course they did usually maia did my outfitting but sometimes Alec forced her to switch with him.

"What do you expect me to do? I don't want to dress my sister in stuff like this! she practically still a baby to me I don't even like her dating!"

"Okay Alec I get it big brother instincts"

He guided me back over to my make-up area and sat me down at the same time Isabelle arrived at hers with maia. She took one look at her brother and muttered "pussy" under her breath. "Heard that you hootchie mama" he said smirking at her both of them shaking their heads. Alec and Maia began working on our hair and appling make up to our faces. Alec ended up pulling my bang back hair sparying them in a bump and then started curling the hair that hung down to my mid back. Isabelle had the same thing going on with her bangs but her hair was pin straight and unlike the mint green bow in my hair hers was a red one. Looking around I realized all the other girls had pink bows on and slightly different outfits. "Why do we look like sex objects and they just look like they're modeling for regular underwear stuff?" Izzy and I asked at the same time. Maia and Alec shared a smirk but they wouldn't tell us. A moment later while I was having blush and lip gloss applied to me someone brought out my black heels and I strapped them on standing up when Alec with done with my touch up. Five minutes later when Izzy was done she came over and stood with me that's when Magnus came running over something fluffy in each hand. Oh god I thought as he made his way over and finally I realized he were the specially picked angels in this photoshoot. Hurrying us Magnus strapped on our over the top sparkly, pink, fluffy wings. "Girls you're on in ten by Alexander" and with that he walked away winking at him causing alec to blush. "How cute" I cooed and Alec took my arm in his hands. "Clary" all three of my friends said looking down at my arm "i'm working on it" I lied. Sighing Alec brought me over to the stand and began covering them up.

"Remember my offer?"

"I can't just leave Sebastian and come live with you guys that would be wrong and he'd find me plus why would I let you set me up with someone remember when you did that in high school?"

"I didn't know he was trying to make a clone of you!"

"Yeah well anyway thank you Alec you're sweet"

I leaned over planting a soft little kiss on his cheek and walked up to the stage with Isabelle so we could begin the shoot. But Alec, Magnus and Izzy's offer laid in the back of my mind the whole time. Could I really do that?

_**Yay im in the Christmas mood so this the last chapter for today it took forever to write so yeah it'll start picking up soon I promise love you guys I know this probably won't get popular but for every person who even looks at this makes me feel better about myself :)**_


	3. Chapter 3

A week later Mangus called me over to his house and I agreed since he said it was on business terms. Hailing a cab once more to take me from main street straight from my shopping over to Magnus's house I climbed in versace sunglasses sitting on my eyes. The cab driver looked unusually young and my heart skipped a beat. Taking my sunglasses off I realized it was that boy from a year ago. It seemed that I wasn't the only one who realized this either though because he was looking at me wide eyed in the mirror. "You" I breath and he shot me an amazed smile. "While if it isn't one of the most sucessful model's ever" he said cockily and I rolled my eyes. Almost a year ago he felt pity for me now he was treating me like some normal sex symbol. "Yeah" I said annoyed and he raised his eyebrow at me taking off down the road. "So" he said more concerned and politly "did things get better." His question struck me hard he remembered all of that? Not just that either but he actually cared enough to ask me how everything was. I smirked at him sourly and gestured to my wore down body "what do you think?" I asked bitterly. He just stared at me in the mirror for a seconds assesing "yeah you do look like shit" he inquired and I scoffed. "What a gentlemen" I shot at him sarcastically and he rolled his eyes turning the corner. "Why didn't you call me or better yet leave him?" he asks seeming genuinly curious by why I would've stayed. "I'd rather not talk about it" he just nodded his head and pulled up to Magnus's building. Handing him the money I slid out of the cab and walked up the side walk my stiletto's clicking approvingly. "Nice ass!" he called out and sped away. Such a prick I thought as I had Magnus buzz me in. Slowly I made my way up the staircase and knocked on his door surpringly it was opened by Isabelle. Raising my eyebrows I stepped in elegantly making my way to his living room being greeted by chairman meow in the process. I sat down and Magnus came out handing me a cup of a clear liquid i'd never seen before. Taking big gulps I felt better like my stomach wasn't going to kill my anymore. That's when I realized what it was and I glared at that sparkly demon. "You sly fox" I said grining but didn't care just asked for more. I sipped it glad to actually have something that could help me gain weight and get skin back on my bones. Sure Sebastian would keep me on the diet pills but oh my god I needed this. Happily I set the glass down and crossed my legs causing my dress to ride up a bit.

"We need to talk about you're past and abusive personal life clarissa"

"Why you know thats strictly my business"

"Because the story about Sebastain and his abuse on you's gotten out also the story about you selling yourself it's in all of the papers and magizines"

Anger and fear rose in me. How had it gotten out and I don't freaking sell myself! Sebastian comes home drunk alot and brings his asshat friends and they pay him just so he can make me let them touch me. Holding back my angry tears I took another sip of the drink and sat it back down.

"You know that last one isn't true"

"I know"

"Then how did all of that get out! do you know what he's going to do to me!"

Magnus looked at me fear and pity for me in his eyes I was desprate. "Clary" he said softly bringing me into his arms while I sobbed soaking his shirt. Isabelle came over and hugged me tight smoothing out my newly straightened hair and murmuring good things softly in my ear. "Who was it?" I asked harshly causing her to flinch and she looked at me gulping "One name" she said "Jonathan." My world stopped and I felt something crack inside me. "Clary" Magnus said and I turned to him "I think you need to get away from the spotlight for a bit sound good?" I nodded and he smiled sadly. "We set up a job interview for you at a high end company" was all he said as he handed me a dry cleaner bag. Smiling shyly I walked up the steps into the bathroom and locked the door looking in the mirror. You will be okay I thought everything is fine Sebastian left on a business emergancy and wont be back the news will be gone by the time he gets back next month. Now I know what you're thinking why are you so worried still well Sebastian has a way of breaking me even when hes far away. He even has a way of firguring everything out and then punishing me so either way within a month I would have a bloody nose and a black eye. Unzipping the dry cleaner bag I stepped out of my jeans and peeled off emrald top stuffing them in my Louis Vitton purse. Humming lightly I pulled out the outfit I had wore when I had first tried out for modeling. A small smile came to haunt my lips turning into a full teeth one. Happily I pulled on the grey pencil skirt glad that the drink was already starting to produce the weight I needed to get my curves back. Ignoring the fact my body would reject and make me throw it up later I pulled on my favortie blouse. It was a emrald green with slightly puffy sleeves and a few ruffles on my chest going all the way down to where it tucked into my skirt. Admiring myself in the mirror I pulled off my stilettos replacing them with four inch black ones that complimented me very well. Picking everything up I made my way down stairs and handed everything to Magnus telling him i'd come back for it after the interview. "So what business are we talking about?" I asked them wondering what I was being set up for. "You're going to be a intern for one of the most elegable young business man of new york" was all he said while ushering me out the door. Honestly, I thought, he was no fun.

I ended up walking into a tall building and I had no idea where I was going at all. In all honesty everything would've been so much simpler if I just would've taken a break from work. But no Magnus insisted saything this would keep me safe from Sebastian and his friend all day and most of the night. I felt everyones eyes on me as my pale legs strutted up to an elevator my just straight hair now turning into soft curls as it always did when it wanted to. Pressing the botton for the top floor it zoomed up all of the way and I stepped out onto a large floor hallways leading every where. Too stubborn to ask for help I started off in one direction hoping it would take me where I needed to go. After ten minutes and hundreds of people staring at me I finally made it to a large desk and rung the bell. Before I knew it this pretty girls head poped up and smiled at me. Her hair was a lighter, her eyes a beautiful color. "Hi" she said casually smiling at me "i'm Helen are you Clarissa fairchild?" I smiled at her and shook her pale firm hand "I got by fray now" she nodded and typed somthing in on the computer "got it!" I had gone through three name changed now but honestly I needed a new life ever since I was seventeen so Fray just fit me. "Well" helen continued pointing down to my left "take that hall make a right and you should be at Lightwood Wayland's office have a nice day." Nodding I started down that way trying to keep my thought together. Was this really a interview or was it already set up for me to have the job. If it means protection and some time away from everything going on in my life I guess it's okay then. Really though? my boss had two last names this was great he was probably not going to be young like Magnus said he was and freaking be a huge jerk. I took a set and waited for him to come out or at least walk down the hall to greet me. That's when I saw him and almost fainted.

Jace's P.O.V

I greeted Helen at the desk and walked back towards my office. Ms. Morgenstern has arrived or Fairchild whatever the broads name was it didn't matter she was my intern anyway. I swear if my friend Magnus set me up with some walking STD bimbo from his modeling agency I would kill him in the long run. As I past the corner I almost stopped shocked at what I saw. She didn't see me yet but I saw her. She was sitting alone red hair flaming down her mid back into curls. Not to menion the tight looking skirt and blouse she had on. Taking a deep breath I calmed my self and started walking trying my best to seem adult like. Then again I was a twenty year old running one of new yorks most sucessful companies and running a popular taxi company. I would've rather met her with this company that day a year ago, not in some taxi while she was covering the bruise on her beautiful face. The moment she turned her head and saw me she looked like she going to faint. Her green eyes were blazing set off by what make up she did have on if she even had any on at all. Wasn't her last name Fray? not Morgenstern or Fairchild? Then it hit me Fray hade the F in fairchild and the last three letters I didn't really care about. "Ms. Fray?" I asked rasing an eyebrow and it seemed to snap her out of her trance. "You" she said not all to politly giving me this nasty little eye roll. Girl has some sass and attitude evidently.. I like it. "Now it that anyway to talk to your future employer?" I asked smirking down at her small structure. "It is if hes an ass" she said grabbing her purse and walking into my office before I even got to open the door. Damn I thought Innocent looking, sexy, attitude and a nice ass, what can I say she was my kind of woman.

We walked into my office and I couldn't help but notice how the slick sexy black heels she wore clicked against the floor confidently. I walked over to my desk taking a seat and she took the one straight infront of me. The moment she crossed her legs the already tight and short skirt she wore rode up even more revealing more of her pasty glass like skin. Averting my eyes before I could start looking up her skirt I looked into her eyes.

"You told me your last name was Fray not Fairchild or Morgenstern"

"I had some family problems but whats with you? you told me your last name was Herondale"

"Fair I have three last names because of family problems also so I won't hold you to that"

"Mhm" she said obviously not excited to be here. I handed her my contacts and some guidlines for the job and she looked at me. "My friend and manager Magnus said this was an interview?" she said confused. I didn't blame her for being confused "plus my friends Alec and Isabelle lightwood even backed him up soo" she said before I cut her off. "You're friends with my sister and brother?" I asked wide eyed and hers grew to. "You're their brother Jonathan!?" she practically screamed for dear life. "You're the Clarissa they wanted me to set up with?!" I screamed at almost the same volume and we just looked at each other freaked out. "Listen" she said before I cut her off politly this time. "It's okay I know you rejected me ten times by now" I said giving her a grin and she rolled those beautiful eyes of her. "If I knew this job was a hand out I wouldn't have come" she said getting up to head out the door but I stopped her gently. "Please sit down clary" I said "I've already interviewed people and they suck Magnus promised me you'd be good." Looking at me for a moment she came back to the chair and sat down. "Why does it matter if I stay?" she asked me. "Because you shouldn't have to go home to him" I replied like it was the most casual thing in the world and she sat there glaring at me. Suddenly she stood up and strutted over to the door turning back to me for a moment. "Fine i'll take the job but he loves me" and I got up from my desk walking over to her for a moment.

"He's hurting you"

"I'll have you know he loves me"

"No he dosen't"

"yes he does"

"He's doing all this to bring you down"

"Liar"

I couldn't take it anymore Sebastian didn't deserve her. He's been a prick ever since Pre K and shouldn't be doing this. Without thinking I put my hand to her cheek and leaned in pressing my lips to hers. For a moment she kissed me back but then screamed and pushed me away.

"That didn't happen"

"I think it did"

"I think it didn't"

"Well it did"

"Goodbye Jonathan" she said in a teasing/annoyed way and walked out closing the door behind her. "You know you liked it!" I called out as the door finally swinged closed I could hear her sit down at her desk right outside my door. "No I didn't and must I say Jonathan Herondale you are a strange boy."

Clary P.O.V

That honestly did not happen. He did not just kiss me and I did not just let him do it. Something inside me said it was good another part of my was saying I was going to die for doing that. Sebastian was going to find out and he was going to kill me. Was Jace telling the truth though? It couldn't be Sebastian did all of this becacause he loved me..right? Sighing I worked the next few hours while tapping my pencil in boredom while I filled out forms and signed transactions for Mr. Lightwood or Wayland possibly Herondale whatever the fuck his name was. That is until I felt my stomach lurching and I ran sheepishly over to the bathroom where I purged my guts out into the toilet bowl. Just like I thought my body had rejected the liquid Magnus had given me so I quickly downed another diet pill while staring at my scars. Quietly I walked out of the bathroom wiping my mouth off when I noticed it was time to go. Carefully I knocked on Jace's office door and he told me to come in. Peeking my head through I saw his hair was ruffled his jacket on the floor the tie he wore lose, his white sleeves rolled up. As the door opened he lifted his head up and looked at me "i'm so sorry" he said to me standing up straight. "It's fine really" I lied nothing was going to be fine "is there anything you need before I go?" and he just smirked at me. "Well" he began and I threw the chair cushion that sat next to me at him and he began laughing. "Okay i'm joking no you're fine Clare you can leave" and he smiled at me sweetly, I liked that smile on him. Nodding I walked down the hallway picking up my jacket while Jace called out for me to hold it. He ran in things in hand while he stared down at a seemingly important message. We nodded at each other as we got out but it seemed we were going the same way. He walked the other way and I stood at the corner trying to hail a cab. Now that I thought about it Jace Herondale was a strange boy. Sighing after not being able to cab I sat down on the sidewalk and screamed as the wind picked up. Hair blasting in my face I heard a car stop in front of me. The window of a bently rolled down and the face of Jace looked down at me. "Get in let me take you home" without any other choice I opened the door and hopped in buckling my seat belt. We to my building in silence but I saw him sneak looks at me out of the corner of his eye. Finally he pulled up and he unlocked the door "Goodnight Clary I hope you're okay tonight." "He's gone for another month" I said quietly looking down at my hands. I was a whore a horrible sinful whore for what I felt like I was about to do. "But thank you for caring Jace" I said and leaned over pecking his cheek and then getting out of the car as fast as I could. You know that wasn't so bad it was a friendly one besides I loved Sebastian..yeah and he only did this because he loved me, yeah keep thinking that clary. That night I crawled into bed alone once again and closed my eyes allowing myself to drift off to sleep. Another day and another dollar I thought and another day stuck being me.

_**I feel like this wasn't as good but anyway merry christmas**_


	4. Chapter 4

"Come on Clare he isn't that bad!"

"He kissed me Isabelle I think he is"

We both were sitting at our make up stations while Maia and Alec touched us up again. Magnus had called me last night saying the lingerie company we were modeling for insisted on having me. I told him he would've had to bring me in for a few photo shoots while we were doing this he couldn't avoid it. But I guess it was nice to have a small break, my scars were finally faded,gained a bit of weight,all of my bruises gone and best of all I didn't feel run down anymore. "See how happy you are when Sebastian isn't around?" Izzy asked and I just shrugged my shoulders. "He does it cause he wants me to be better" Izzy knew better than to protest so she in turn shrugged hers at me. I looked over at Alec who was set hard at work trying to do his little sisters hair to her standards. "Dressing me again?" I asked him and he blushed nodding. Sighing I got up thanking Maia and headed back with Alec who was texting someone on his phone. "Ooo" I said making his head jerk up "you and Magnus having phone sex?" "No" he said a bit to defensivly "Oh my god!" I screamed and he covered my mouth the whole way back. "I was joking but you are oh my god!" and I burst out into laughter as he went through the costumes I was meant to wear. "Here" he said throwing me the panties and bra. Rolling my eyes I slipped out of my stuff and pulled the new ones over having Alec strap me in. "Nice they have me in a thong and one thats about to disappear up my ass" as soon as it came out Alec burst out into fits of laughter. Two minutes later he was still laughing whiping tears from his eyes body shaking. He took a deep breath and handed me the garder, having me step into my heels he put my silk,short, sexy robe on. I heard my name being called so I thanked him and walked quickly over to the edge of the shoot. There I saw Magnus who was smiling at me teeth showing. "I heard what happened" he said looking at me his eyes having a small gleam in them. "Don't bring it up" I said laughing and handing him my robe. Isabelle walked up beside me and gave me a thumbs up hugging me a bit. "You're gonna do great" was all she said and then the photographer called me over to the back drop. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves I walked over to him while he gave me instructions. He had olive skin and looked of a different blood line. "Do I know you?" I asked looking at his fimiliar face. "Raphal is my name ma'am" he said giving my hand a small polite kiss "I belive not sadly." "Too bad" I said smiling at him "you look fimiliar." He nodded and I walked over to the point where he told me to go my legs along the ground together and holding my upper body up with one arm. We took a few shots when he told me to get up on my knees and put one hand through my hair. "Don't be affraid to show a bit more skin if you want be fun!" he called out and I nodded. Without thinking my hand when to the strap of my bra and I tugged it down a bit not revealing too much but still some. My hand still raked in my hair and for some reason I bit my bottom lip. I heard Izzy say my name happily and I started laughing Raphal still snapping photos of me. "Okay i'll see you back here in ten minutes for your modeling partner okay?" I nodded and walked back over to Magnus who put my robe back on me.

"Nice shoot"

I turned around and there he was as always like a ghost latly.

"Mr. Herondale"

I saw his eyes quickly scan my body while he bit his lip. No one else saw it but I know he did it. Alec came running over saying something into his set headphones and grabbed my shoulders pulling me back to my changing area. When I looked back Magnus was pulling Jace of some where doing god knows what with him.

Ten minutes later I was back on the floor waiting for my male partner. I started to take off my robe but Raphal stopped me politly. "Your partner will take that off for a few photos" following his rules I kept it on and waited. If this guy was going to be touching me like we were having sex then he better be attractive. Two minutes later I was still waiting so I just went over to the bed we were going to be using and talked to Isabelle who was fluffing pillows. "Is this guy even attractive?" I asked and she just smirked while still fluffinf and throwing feathers in place. She was hiding something better yet she knew something. "Isabelle what do you know?" before I could make her answer me she ran off the floor and out came my partner. Oh my god I was going to kill Magnus. You had to be kidding me I thought as Jace walked over smirking at me arms out wide. My eyes drifted to his bare chest and he seemed to still have jeans on boxers exposed at the top. "Your partner was busy so here I am" I looked at him anoyyed and then to Magnus with a death glare. "I already have to go to your office after this isn't that enough torture?" I asked him pulling my heels off and throwing them to the side since I didn't need them. "No" he said like this was going to be the most normal casual thing in the world. The new photographer came out and positioned us and I sighed as he began to snap pictures of us. Ten pictures later Jace's hand was on the other side of my cheek not facing the camrea and then the other on my bare shoulder like he was pulling my robe off slowly. "Press those lips against her somewhere!" the person behind the camrea called out and I dared him with my eyes to even try kissing my lips. Grinning he pressed his lips to my neck and I let out a surprised moan. The photographer called out in approvale and everyone else I saw was grinning at us with amusment. His hands started trailing my body making me extremly horny. Fine if my boss wanted to play dirty I could play dirty to. Digging my fingers in his hair and keep them there, I brought his face so close to mine we were about to kiss. Then without warning him I made up go back so I was on top for so pictures. My robe was finally off laying on the floor so I bent down knowing his face was only an inch or two above my chest. Because I could feel the slight tingle of his breath and lips against my collar bone and a little below it. Not to mention I could feel his hands on my ass as I straddled him. That's when I heard a buzz sound signaling the end and I jumped up pulling on my robe. He looked at me in shock and surprise as I smiled at him innocently.

"See you in twenty sir"

and I strutted off to get changed but not before I could hear him whisper "damn" behind me.

As I told him twenty minutes later I met him at work his coffee and new contact informants in my hand. I knocked on his door and he opened it allowing me to come in. Acting as if nothing had happened at the photo thing I bent down and handed him his coffee and laid the stack of papers down in front of him. "You need to fill those out" I said casually and sat on the edge of his desk crossing my legs not caring if my scars and cuts showed. He looked up for a bit and got a face full of bare leg and I knew he saw them but he said nothing. "I can't leave this office until you fill those out" I said picking up a nail file and began to file down my growing nails. "Then maybe I wont just so you can stay" he said a small smirk on his face and I rolled my eyes taping the nail file on his head. "Oh fine" he sighed and began filling out the paper work but then stopped his face scrunching. "This is going to take me hours to do and work out you know that right?" I put the file down and looked at him. "But it's already five" I whined and he just shook his head laughing. "At least say when you think it will be done?" I asked pleading him sticking out my bottom lip. Sighing he rubbed his face and looked at me. "You really want to know?" he asked like it would make me angry, it probably would but I nodded. "Almost midnight" he said and I almost fainted that was crazy "Why does it take so long!" I asked in shock.

"I could take it home clary it's not that big of a deal"

"No because that mean lady said I can't go home till I turn this in!"

"One with the grey hair who took Helens place for the day?"

"Yes!"

"That's my grandma" he said snorting some while he laughed. "Well she's mean!" I called out in defense and he nodded "oh I know she is but I guess I can try and get it done." Relife washing over me I sighed and thanked him. Happily I jumped up and walked over to the door "anything else ?" I asked remember I'm supposed to always say that. "Yes" actually he said typing and filling out all the paper work "please..just take care of yourself." My hand tightened on the door and I gulped my throat tight "anything else?" I asked and he came up behind me, moving all my hair off of my neck and whispered in my ear. "I don't think you would do what i'm thinking of" he said in a low voice and I once again gulped. "How do you know?" I asked him curious and I could tell that made him grin. "I just do" trying to process what just happened I turned the handel and slid down the door. "What the fuck just happened?" I said to no one in particular.

_**Jace P.O.V**_

When we did all that at the photo shoot it was obvious now I wanted her more than anything. The way it felt while he was tugging on my jeans and pressing up against me set me off. It even took all I had not to rip what she was wearing off of her when she finally tugged my jeans off. I knew I was hard and most of all I know she knew it to. Then when she'd came into my office and sat down on my desk the feeling came back. Just seeing her skin exposed,scars showing and seeing her look so innocent yet sexy at the same time just killed me. I wanted the feel of my lips against her skin again but I knew that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. I didn't tell her but I'd seen her run off to the bathroom that first day of work. I saw her down a pill while walking out and it made me sick. Not sick of her but sick of everyone who'd ever made her feel like she was nothing. She was beautiful and most of all she didn't need to take pills and harm herself and she certainly didn't need to stay with him. Oh he loves her, yeah right, I called bullshit. I know Sebastian and if theres one thing I know if one of his girlfriend is better than him he makes sure he brings them down so he's better. The rest of them knew what was happening they left him but Clarissa my poor poor clary, she didn't she was blinded. If I was with her, stupid thought I know, but if I was she would be my world and I would never let her feel like that. I wanted to fix her but right now I had to be doing this paper work so we both could get home. Especially since it was getting quiet late. The clock struck elven and I felt like I was going to punch someone. Looks like it was going to be an all nighter. As if sensing my stress she came in her red curls like a water fall of color against the black of her dress.

"Mr. Herondale are you okay in here?"

"Yes and please call me by my name"

"You sound stressed and okay Jonathan"

I looked up at her and smiled.

"The one I told you"

"Okay Jace"

The sound of my name against her lips caused me to get hard again. No matter what I thought about trying to get it to go away it wouldn't. Not if she was standing right there leaning against my door skin exposed,lace of her bra visable. Taking a gulp I looked down trying to focus but I could hear her heels the whole time she walked over behind me. "I think it's going to be an all nighter" I said sighing and putting my head down on the table. Just knowing her though I looked up and just as I thought there was a sweet smile. "You can do it you're just stressed can I help?" I shrugged I really couldn't think of anything. It started getting harder to focus when she leaned down and her body was pressed against mine slightly chest hanging down beside my face. Please lord if you love me and are listening just please let me control the boys down there. Obviously the lord didn't love me because he didn't grant my wish. "Here stand up a minute" she said and I felt like god was giving me my own personal hell wish. Before I could protest she pulled me up and I saw a smirk on her face when she looked down for a moment and saw my pants. Slowly she walked behind me and gave me a quick shoulder rub and had me sit back down. "Now to help you" she said and sat down on my lap and I knew the boys came up higher because I could feel pressure on them espcially when she grinded against me. She played it off as an accident but the smirk on her face said other wise. "You know" she said casually clicking away at my computer "i'm really horny right now." Okay my life was over it was offically over was this gods test for me because now I was close to giving up life and living in a box. "Oh really?" I said my voice cracking and she grinded harder making a groan form in the bottom of my throat.

"You know Sebastian never does it with me he's always to drunk or you know he does it without my consent which isn't fun"

"Why does he have to hurt you like that?"

"He wants me to be better"

"Better my ass you can't be better you're already perfect clary look at you you're gorgeous you're like a fallen angel but without wings you're my fallen wingless angel"

She turned her head to look at me as if in shock. I saw tears in her eyes and I realized she must have never heard that before. "Really?" she whispered and I nodded bringing her lips to mine. At first she tried to resit but soon she gave in wrapping her arms around me running her fingers through my hair driving me crazy. A few minutes later she pulled away both of us breathing heavy. "I can't" she said it coming out as a whisper. She got up quickly and ran out of the office. A moment later I looked out the window and saw her jump into a cab taking off down the road. One day she'd see how important she was to me encluding Isabelle and everyone else.

_**okay I have writers block but I wanted to update so here it is i'll promise to try and have a break through soon!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter contains M content**_

"Why must you keep calling me that?"

"What? my fallen wingless angel?"

"Yes that"

We'd been working together for almost a month now but ever since Sebastian had come back early she'd gotten worse. She was alarmingly small and britle and everyday she came in with a fresh scar,cut and worst of all bruise everytime in a different place. Right now she wore skinny jeans that were almost to big but she still had enough weight to keep them for now. Her once beautiful complimenting blouse hung slack on her stomach the only full thing on her her chest. The locks of red that I used to love were still long and full but since two days ago tiny bits started to fall out and I was worried for her. She ate nothing not to mention Magnus had fired her from modeling until things got better. They checked on her everyday but Magnus had no idea he'd made things worse. All she could do was go there and watch the girls strut along while she sat there walloing in self hate. I tried to get her to eat be happy but nothing helped she cried everyday at her desk for a minimum of thirty minutes straight twice a day. "Because" I said "you're an angel who fell to earth with no wings that without knowing it makes the world a better place." She faked laughed and started to cough her little body shaking. I held her close and I could feel her crying into me and I didn't let go I wouldn't let go. She stopped and then got up things hadn't been the same since that nice we'd gotten..unprofessinal. We hadn't talked like we used to all she did was only talk to me when she had to but then again she did that to everyone now. She ignored me to, hoping not to get close to me. I didn't blame her for being scared but I heard her on the phone with Isabelle saying ever since sebastian heard she stayed late at the office all the time he'd started the hitting again. Then when she got fired it got worse. I grabbed her wrist gently and she pulled it out of my grip.

"Don't touch me"

"Clarissa"

"Shut up you don't know me we barely know each other it was stupid this all was stupid im not some little charity case Mr. Herondale or whatever it is"

"You're doing this to yourself Clary why?"

"You don't know anything you're the reason i'm dieing"

And with those life shattering words she grabbed her jacket and walked out of the office. Quickly I called Isabelle and she picked up. "Yes?" I heard her on the other line doing something but it didn't matter. "Have you seen clary latly" was all I said but it earned me a annoyed sigh from Isabelle. "Jace do you think im blind yes I have and why do you even try she hates you." "No she dosen't" I said lying to myself "oh yes she does" Isabelle said putting in her two cents.

"After she told you about how she loved sebastian and felt wrong about having sex with you in your office, on your desk migt I add also, you yelled at her called her a charity case and ruined her life for almost two weeks until I slapped some sense into you!"

"That was almost a month ago!"

"Jace"

"Isabelle" I said mockingly

"You know i'm right"

"I know"

She was right, after the one unproffesional night there was another one. A very very more unprofessinal one. It happened only two nights after that. So I might as well tell you what went down kiddies.

_**Four weeks ago**_

"Helen can you page Ms. Fray in here for me"

"Of course sir"

A moment later the sound of the door opening disturbed me from my thoughts. There was Clarissa in a short,tight, black and white fancy tribal mini skirt and mint blue button up. She looked amazing and her long hair was wavy instead of curly her make up on point. "Yes Mr. Herondale" she said walking in up to my desk. She was wearing black flats to, so the real height difference between us was almost extrem. "Oh uh yes um" I started to file through the papers and she walked up next to me her head only up to my shoulder barely. She started to help me look for the paper work I needed her to fill out when her hand touched me. Pulling it away she blushed but I took her soft hand in mine and kissed her knuckles. "I don't bite" I said grining and she smiled softly at me and looked down. Then I realized our hands were still interlocked both of us obviously aware of it. "Clary I-" but my own mouth cut me short when she looked up at me with those innocent eyes of hers. We stayed like that for awhile just looking into each others eyes when she walked closers and hugged me tight. Taken by surprise I wrapped my arms around her slowly holding her tight so so tight. Comfortable she laid her head against my chest making my breathing a little harder to do. "Am I ever going to be okay?" and it took me by surprise "of course you're my angel remember?" I could feel her smile against me and take a deep breath. "What if you're lying?" she asked me quietly and I made her look at me. "Oh I don't know obviously i'm a total prick" I said playing around and she laughed "do you think i'd lie to you?" She tapped her chin for a moment and then once again looked at me. "Nooo I guess not" she said smiling up a me kissing my cheek "thanks for making me feel better." "You know i'd do anything to make you feel better Clary" and she gave me a sly smirk. "Oh really anything now Mr. Herondale?" she said in this suductive way that once again turned me on. She took my tie in her hand wrapping it around and pulled me down wards pressing her lips to mine. Why did this keep happening to us when we both knew it wouldn't work. She was in love was Sebastian so I don't understand why she was doing this. But then again she said he never touched her a girl has needs I guess. I wasn't complaining though about this I had needs to and one was to do her..and hard. My hands went around her one grabbing her bottom tightly the other pressed against her mid back and hair. Her lips pressed against my neck a low moan beinging in the bottom of my throat. I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her over to the desk and basically slid everything on it to the ground. There were a few crashes but we ignored them lips and limbs tangled together. I set her down and she kept her legs wrapped around me. Quickly my hands traveled up her thighs rubbing them down and then they traveled under her skirt until they felt her panties. Before I did anything though I unbottoned her shirt about two bottons so most of her bra was exposed. It was a sexy black and had lace which I enjoyed purely because it turned me on. I laid her back a little so she rested on my other arm. Her legs were hanging off the desk slightly and her hair was hanging down on the other end. I didn't lay her long ways though I wasn't ready for what was going to go down when I put her on the desk that way. Slowly I put my face near her chest and started moving my tongue up licking her chest. Her body gave a small pleasured shock and she grabbed my hair slightly. I kept doing that and then moved her bra down slightly and began sucking and she moaned. My other hand went up her skirt again and moved her seeming soaked panties to the side. Rubbing her down I saw her bite her lip and squeeze her eyes tight. With my new found confidence I pulled them off her and smirked when I saw them. She blushed when she saw I knew what she had been wearing. "A blue lacy thong clarissa?" her face turned reder "I had nothing else that and maybe I just knew this would happen." Laughing I finally shoved my fingers inside her pumping hard and fast back and forth. Shocked from the unexpected force she screamed my name and her body arched into the air. The way she screamed my name set me off and I was glad we were the only ones of this floor at about ten a night. In fact we were the only ones In the building because Helen had just left after I had her page clary. I could feel dampness as I kept going and she was panting when I finally pulled out and crawled on top of her. I made her look at me while I licked my fingers off and smirked at her. Seeing her like this was even better than when I saw her in those lingeries not that I wouldn't love to see those on her again. She looked so innocent here and it was driving me nuts,obviously we both knew she wasn't that innocent. Her breath was heavy but she was still looking at me intently. Forcfully she pulled me down and smashed out lips together. Quickly I turned her on the desk long ways and stood at the edge of it. She was sitting on the edge kissing me while I rang my hands through her beautiful hair. Wraping her legs around me she put one of her hands on my groin and started teasing me. "Clary" I growled warning her but she just kept doing it harder and then finally she put it inside my pants and began doing it there. Finally I was down I had enough of waiting. When she took her hand out I unbuckled my pants and pulled them down. Her eyes widened when she saw my boxers and she pulled those down herself. I couldn't help but wonder if she was drunk and that was why she was doing this. Before I could do anything about it her mouth was around me and my fingers dug into her hair. She got of the desk and down on her knees using her tongue going back and forth putting her hands on it as well. "Fuck clary" I said my voice cracking and I knew she was swallowing what was coming out of me. She pulled away and looked me straight in the eyes. "Would you please just fuck me already Jonathan?" With that I picked her up and pushed her skirt up to her hips making sure we were both on the desk. She started planting kisses all over me and I went the her entrance and started teasing her. I could tell she was getting impaient because she kept pressing our hips together. A pleading whimper escaped her throat and I was done for I plunged inside and once again she screamed my name leaving scratches all down my back. Pumping in and out we both started coming she let out moans but I loved it when she moaned my name it was like I had won her even when I hadn't. When we finally stopped she was panting and I helped her up off the desk. Quickly I pulled up my pants and things while she tugged up her panties. I watched her as she tugged down her skirt a bit and tried to fix her messy sex hair.

"You're not going to be able to get it to look any better"

"Oh shut up"

I walked over and wraped my arms around her waist sucking on her neck intently. A pleasured sound came from her mouth and I stopped after I was sure I had left my mark on her.

"Goodnight Jace"

"Goodnight "

The next day she came in and knocked on my door and sat down infront of me. Today she was more covered in jeans,boots a sweater and scarf around her neck. Her hair was pulled up into a nice bun and I enjoyed seeing her but I didn't enjoy what she said.

"That was a mistake im so sorry I love Sebastian and I don't know what happened"

"Mistake? how can you love him after what's all gone down?"

"No it wasn't a mistake okay I admit I loved it and I can't stop thinking about it and you're very attractive and I would love and I mean really love to do that again but I can't not while I'm with him"

"Then leave him"

"I can't"

"Why?"

"You know why" she said looking at me. She was right I knew why but I didn't like why. The next words that came out of my mouth I regretted as soon as I had said them. "Whatever you like Clarissa you were just a chairty case for this job anyway." Her face fell and I could tell she was trying not to cry. Getting up she ran out and I called after her. I knew in that moment i'd just started something I didn't want to happen.

For the next two weeks I mistreated her and I didn't know why maybe my anger. The fact that I was upset and disappointed in her. Everyday and night we barely spoke and if we did I spoke sternly and down on her. I pushed her to do stuff better and I didn't see how it affected her. I was litterally turning into a work version of Sebastian but I didn't see it that is until Isabelle came into my office one day. "JACE YOU ASS" my sister said giving me this intense death glare I didn't enjoy. She had been such a pest latly talking about clary this oh clary was amazing at the photo shoot. "What?" I said trying to sound calm but I knew it came out a bit harsh. "Do you know what you're doing to clary?" I looked up at her and raised my eyebrow. "What am I doing?" I asked acting stupid but she always had a way of seeing through me. "You know what" Sighing I nodded and forced myself not to tear up. When she saw this she walked over to me and put a hand gently on my shoulder.

"Jace all you did was make it worse"

"I know and i'm sorry"

"Tell Clary that"

"She hates me"

"That's true and besides Sebastian is home now he'd kill her for talking to you"

I felt a pang in my gut he was home now. He was hurting her again and I didn't want to make her go through it at work. Quickly I got up and ran out to Clary's desk when she saw me she looked at me with fear in her eyes. "Clarissa?" I said softly and the fear seemed to go away slightly and I cupped her hand in both of mine.

"I am so so so sorry for being such a complete ass once again so so so sorry"

She looked at me and laughed smiling a little.

"Thank you Jace but i'll need some time but at least you care"

"Yeah those cuts on my back from those nails need some more time to"

Her face turned red and I smiled at her making my way back into my office sitting down. "There" I said to Isabelle and she rolled her eyes. "It's not going to be the same Jace" was all she said and walked away.

_**Back to now**_

She was right it wasn't the same it was like what i'd told clary had gone through one ear and out the other. Two days after the apologie is when she took a down spiral for the worst. Now here we were and all I wanted to do was fix her. But how?

_**Hey guys so these next few chapters are going to be Clary's memories and sides of a few stories from Sebastian hurting her to what's been going down between her and jace so thanks!**_


	6. Chapter 6

Clary P.O.V

So you guys have heard Jace's side right? Well did he ever take how I felt into consideration NO. Not once so you know what why don't I for these next few chapters share some memories and stories with you shall we? Theres alot to go through so I might as well take you into the most important ones there is and most I say im going to have to cut back alot.

So why don't we being on the day all of this stuff started to happen shall we? The day we were..um in his office late at night.

"Ms. Fray, Mr. Herondale would like to see you in his office at this moment in time"

"Okay thank you Helen goodnight"

"Goodnight Clary"

I hung up my desk's phone/pager and smoothed down my skirt. I hadn't talked to him for the past two days so I wondered what this could be about. I walked in and I couldn't help but see what made him so attractive to me. His golden hair was hanging down in his face the crease between his eyebrows showing he was hard at work. Not to mention his mucsels that were straining against the white of his shirt. He looked up and those eyes of his made me melt instanly but I didn't show it. A moment later I was helping him look for some paper work when our hands touched. Nervous I pulled mine away blushing but he just took my hand back. "I don't bite" he said and once again I felt that panf of feelings rush through me. He was so tall and me over here in my heels so short next to him. Without thinking I threw my arms around him hugging him tight. All my emotions were running wild and I just was so depressed lately. Then I asked him If I would ever be okay and he gave me those funny lines that lifted me up just like when he called me his angel. When he said he'd do anything for me though I guess something inside me snapped and my hormones took over. Everything we did sent pleasured shocks through me and all I could do was scream or moan his name. His lips felt like warm velvet against mine and I loved it. He was all I wanted in that moment everything he did was new and amazing. Did I think about Sebastian...no honestly I didn't Jace was all that I wanted and at that point I really wanted him inside a part of me other than my mouth. "Jace" I had screamed after he had gone in and thats when my nails had dug into his skin leaving slashes. Instantly I thanked the gods that we were the only ones in this building. I could feel his chisled body on top of me and I wanted to rip his shirt off but I didn't. When i'd done it I hadn't even been aware my hands had travled inside his shirt but I remembered the feel of his back muscels I still did actually. To be honest I felt kind of proud to be able to say I had left those Slashes along me. It showed so many things and when I had saw them I just wanted to stare at them all day. He just made me feel so alive and that was something Sebastian had never done. The way he touched me was gently and sweet but at the same time it was rough and I just didn't know how to feel about it. I remember when he'd pulled off my thong and the embarrasment had set in. I seriously had to wash everything else and that was the only thing left in my damn drawer. Then when we stopped the way he sucked on my neck just oh my god everything he did was amazing. I went home that night to be greeted with a skype call from Sebastian.

"Hello Clary"

"Hey baby"

When he wasn't looking I walked away and put on a turtle neck so he wouldn't see the hickey Jace had given me.

"Why are you wearing that?"

"It's cold"

He just smiled at me and we talked like that for a moment until I heard a females voice in the background. When he heard her voice he looked up and got this look in his eyes that I wished he still gave me. I felt my heart break inside like I would never be good enough ever. "Who's that Seb?" I asked genuinly curious but he was still looking towards her. In the reflection of his eyes I saw her. She was pretty with dirty blonde hair and green eyes not to meantion stripped down to her underwear. "You're cheating on me" I said and he looked at me like I was stupid. "I am not" and I became angry "I CAN SEE HER IN YOUR EYES YOU IDIOT!" He rolled his eyes and looked at me "seriously clary? she's just showing me what a real woman is like you're a lingerie model but yet I can't touch you?" "We've been over this!" I screamed whiping a tear from my eyes and he seemed to feel bad but it went away. "You don't even try to touch me all you do is hit me!" he quickly sent the girl out of the room. "Speak of that how did that story get out?" I sucked in a breath and he glared at me. "Jonathan accidently said something ple ase Sebastian he's your best friend!" "Yeah sure Jonathan said something i'll see you when I get back you whore." He hung up and I threw off the sweater neck crying more than I thought imaginable. That's when I though about Jace his smile and- I slapped myself instantly. No I can't and I wouldn't. Scared to admit any feels I had for Jace I crawled into bed and took off all my jewlrey placing it nicely on my stand and laid down. Watching TV for a bit I tried to be calm but then Isabelle called me.

"I heard what you and Jace did!"

"Oh my god don't even"

"And you weren't drunk!"

I started busting out crying and he said my name worridly. "Can you come over?" I begged trying to control my tears. She agreed and thirty minutes later I was greeted by the face of Isabelle rushing through my bedroom door. "What happened?!" she asked sitting on my bed begging for the details. I spilled everything to her from the time with Jace to my skype call with Sebastian and when It was over she looked at me with sadness in her eyes.

"Clare bear"

"Don't"

"Clary please don't"

"Don't what?"

"We know what's going to happen"

"Yeah I guess we do"

She spent the night with me that time and when I woke up she helped me get ready and drove me to work. "Have a nice day" I got out and closed the door "easy for you to say." I walked up to the doors and opened the I could feels eyes on my hickey that was barely visable through my scarf. The worst part was everyone knew me and Jace stayed late in the office together so I got alot of questioning glances. Riding the Elevator up Helen greeted me smiling and took a look at my neck the smile growing bigger. "Don't even" I laughed and walked back to my desk placing the coffee and everything else down. I really should have a talk with Jace I thought and I knocked on his door walking in. Still ingoring anything I felt for him I walked over to his desk and told him straight up I couldn't do this anymore.

"Leave him then!"

"I can't do that"

"Why?"

"You know why.

He knew why I couldn't do that. He knew it perfectly well he was just being stubborn. Even if I did break up with him me and Jace wouldn't be anything. All we would be become was a weird fifty shades of grey affair. When he said leave Sebastian for him though I thought it was completely stupid. The thought was unthinkable and undoable. So he told me the truth I had feared all along if it was the truth. I was some stupid charity case. I felt completely stupid to believe someone had genuinly given me a fair chance. I was just another pretty face who knew nothing and had to have everything handed to her. I wasn't even pretty I was worthless and a whore not to mention a horrible person. Crying I ran out of the room him coming after me. Making sure not to slam the door I sat at my desk trying to do my work. I couldn't concentrate though how could I after what had just gone on in there. So I just started filling out my paper work the best I could trying to forget everything me and him had ever done or said. Not having any idea of the complete hell to come all because of some strange boy named Jonathan Herondale.

_**The next two chapters will still be memories about her and jace and some of what happened when Sebastian came home also you'll see how she got fired**_


	7. Chapter 7

"Sebastian come on please!"

"NO all he does is call you and have you stay late what are you up to!"

"Nothing Sebastian please!"

I went over to him and he turned around punching me on the cheek. Stumbling back my hand to my cheek I looked at him about to cry. His eyes looked surprised and he took a step closer to me slowly. "Clary" I put my hand up to him and backed away against the wall. "I deserved it" he straightened up and nodded at me walking awkwardly out of our bedroom. Gloomily I crawled into bed and held back the tears. This was the third time this week he'd done this maybe I just wasn't trying hard enough. Maybe I just wasn't being good enough. If it killed me I would be good enough.

For the next few weeks I skipped work outings and meals taking two extra pills a day. Everyone said that I was getting thin but I thought it was stupid. Sebastian was hurting me less yes still hurting me but he was proud. So I kept on doing what I was doing going to the shoots and work then coming home and doing awful things. Then I got a call from Magnus.

"Hello?"

"Clarissa I need you to come over now"

"Ok"

Coughing I got up and walked down the steps in my new jeans. All my other ones were baggy now and falling off my limbs. Getting there Magnus buzzed me in there instantly and I knocked on the door. Alec opened it up and he was shirtless. God damn it why did he after to play for the other team. Both of our faces lit up red and I pushed past him slightly and found Magnus shirtless in the middle of the living room having Isabelle and Jace move a TV. Once again why did he had to be gay but thats not what upset me it was the fact Jace was there.

"Clary can we talk"

"Not with him in the room"

Sighing Magnus waved him out. Jace tried to protest but Isabelle pulled him out by his golden hair. Taking a seat Magnus sat down infront of me and took my hands in his. His eyes searched mine and I knew it was becoming serious what he was going to say.

"Clarissa look at yourself"

"What about it? Sebastian loves it why? don't you think I look nice?"

"Clary I don't want to say this but I'm going to have to let you go"

I felt like my world had shattered. He seriously had to messing with me.

"What do you mean i'm fired?"

"It's not perament clarissa just until you get better"

I got up and grabbed my purse angrily

"I'm as better as i'll ever fucking be you judgmental gay sonic the hedge hog! I don't need this "support group" or whatever hell is and I don't need any of you bringing me down!"

"I'll let the go considering that you are not well"

"GO TO HELL"

Storming out of there I stormed out the door and down the steps. I heard someone running behind me and when I turned my head there jace was. "Leave me alone you creep!" I screamed and smashed the elevator button. It closed right in his face and raced down to the lobby. Hurridly I ran out of the building and hailed a cab. I hurridly got in and it took off right as he bust out onto the street. I was not going through this and their patheic drama couldn't they see Sebastian was finally starting to be happy with me?

The next day I walked into work a giant black mark on my face. Everyday I walked into work new marks were everywhere usually on my face this time one of my eye. Everyone saw but no one said anything except Jace. I didn't listen to him though his opinion meant nothing to me anymore. He was the reason Sebastian was hurting me, the reason I was dying inside all I could think about was last night when I went home and told Sebastian about me being fired.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE FIRED YOU?!"

"He said I need to get better but everythings okay I promi-"

"NO you freaking dirty whore first I find out that guy kissed you multipule times he holds you past work and now you get fired from a modeling job god you're uglier than I thought!"

"I'm not ugly" I whispered and he smacked me across the face. "What did you say?" he asked and I cowered back. "Nothing" I said whimpering and he pulled my hair making me fall onto the floor. "Thats what I thought" and he stalked off and I crawled into the bathroom locking the door. Craddling myself I sobbed into my knees swoalling four diets pills extra. I was fine I didn't need help this was normal this was all normal. I grabbed the blades from my sink and dug it into my skin. Screaming out in pain the tears came harder and I bit my lip as the blood ran down from my cuts. I stared at them. They were comforting in a way. Like I could control my pain and it all was washed away in a blood red waterfall. Feeling light headed I cleaned up the small puddle of blood and wrapped up my arms, stomach and thighs. Just another day I thought just another day.

So now that you know what all went on why don't we go back to what's going on right now?

I stormed out of the office after I had collasped crying into him. I wasn't weak and I wasn't going to show him emotion I didn't need him. Sighing I kept going through paper work thinking about how late I was going to have to stay tonight. Maybe Sebastian wouldn't mind and he would let me go straight to bed with now problems. Yeah a girl can dream right? That night around eight Isabelle came up the to my desk. I didn't look up but I knew it was her, you can tell by the heels. Finally I lifted my head still filling out paper work and I saw Simon was with her. She sat a bowl of chipolte down on my desk and I pushed it away. "Don't want it" I said bitterly and she looked down on me with pity.

"Clary come on magnus got it for you, hes really sorry"

"Better reason not to want it"

"Come on pleaseee"

"No"

I threw it off the desk and it went all over the floor but I didn't care. Izzy looked like she was about to cry and my best friend looked at me sadly. I missed back when we were kids and I could stay at his house and play video games while watching anime but those days were over now. I grabbed the one meant for Jace and threw it in his office not caring. He could eat it off the floor for all I cared. I downed a diet pill and another pill my doctor had given me and took one extra of it. "CLARY" Isabelle half way screamed and Jace came running out covered in chipotle. "What happened?!" and he looked at me with the pill bottles in my hand. "She just over dosed!" Isabelle looked like it was something new that i've never done before.

"I'm fine now bye"

With that I ushered them out of the building and went back to my work. Jace gave me a look and I tried to slap him. "Don't" I said "Look at me like that." I was stuck in that hell hole till eleven when I finally punched my time card out. Without saying goodbye or doing anything I walked home and unlocked my apartment door. It was empty maybe I could get away with staying out late. Wrong.

Sebastian walked out obviously drunk beer bottle in hand. "Late again?" he said squeezing it tight slurring his words. "I was busy with paper work" he walked over to me and gripped my hair tight. "Sure" he said rubbing my face with another one. "It's true" he pushed me to the floor and I knew to just stay there and let him get it out of his system. Thinking it was over I went into our bedroom crying and called up Isabelle to apologise. "No clare i'm sorry." Right as we were in the middle of it he burst in and my phone hit the ground. "Sebastian?" I asked worridly and stood up but he said nothing just coming up to me and pressed his lips to mine. Surprised I pulled away and looked at him. "What was that for?" I asked sweetly pressing my head against his chest and his arms tightened around me.

"Just letting you get a last taste of heaven before I kill you"

"what?"

Before I knew it his fist was in my face and I screamed. Scrambling for the bathroom door he grabbed me around the waist pulling me back infront of him. There was another smack to my face and I bit him on the arm..hard. He screamed out and I ran out of the bedroom grabing my phone on the way. Isabelle was still on the other line "Isabelle?! Izzy help me!" you could hear her freaking out to the others all of them screaming.

"I'm an hour away clary let me call help!"

"Fine but hur-"

I slammed my body to the floor as a beer bottle and whatever over sharp object came flying at the wall. The bottle crashed and the screw driver stuck to the wall. Isabelle was already off of the line oh god I was going to die I was seriously going to die. Ten minutes later I was struggling underneath him while he pressed down on my throat. "Please!" I called out all breathy but he started pressing harder. The door burst open and there he was Jace standing there the light shining on him making his hair look like a halo around his head. Right as my vision went fuzzy Sebastian was being pulled off me and I could breath again. I took deep breaths and I heard yelling and hitting. Jace pushed Sebastian out the door and locked it. We were left there both of us staring at each other.

"Look at what he's done to you"

"I deserved it he only did it because i'm not good enough i'll never be good enough will I?"

"Clary"

He went to touch my shoulder and I backed away slowly. Finally I ran into my bedroom shutting the door and locked it slicing my wrist open and I got the pills in my hand. I was going home tonight. That is until he kicked open the door and we stood there both in shock as the pills slammed to the ground.

_**This next chapter is going to set the tone for the rest of the book YAYYYY**_


	8. Chapter 8

Jace P.O.V

When Isabelle had called me that night I was just leaving the office walking down the road. Still eating the chipotle that clary threw at me off my shirt. I picked it up just as it made it onto her block. Which was only a ten minute walk from where I lived. "Yeah?" I said and everyone sounded crazy in the background.

"HE'S KILLING HER"

"Woah who's killing who?"

"SEBASTAIN AND CLARY HE FUCKING HURTING HER AND CHOAKING THE SHIT OUT OF HER ON THE GROUND HELP HER NOW!"

"Isabelle she hates me why don't you help"

"IM THREE HOURS AWAY YOU'RE LIKE THREE MINUTES AWAY JACE! RUN LIKE THE LITTLE EGO FILLED ASS HOLE YOU ARE!"

I hung up the phone and took off down the road making it to her building. Please don't let me see her laying there dead under him I thought. Who knows what I was do to him for doing this. Who knows what I would do to him if she was dead to. I slammed on the elevator buttons and made it go straight to her apartment. As it opened I pushed back people running and they all screamed at me. One person stopped me and I tried to get through.

"What's your deal pushing people"

"SOME ONE IS TRYING TO KILL THE WOMAN I LOVE DOWN THIS HALL NOW MOOOVVVEEE!"

"Verlac?"

"How did you know?"

Everyone in the hallway looked at each other sadly. "We always hear him yell when he's home and we hear that fray girls cries everynight" and he let me pass. "Let us know if she's okay!" he shouted and I made it to her door. It was locked dammit I thought. I could hear her screaming and the struggle. Thinking fast I whipped out my credit card and pushed it into the lock. I heard the click and I threw the door open there she was on the ground being crushed under him while he pressed on her wind pipe. She was begging him and crying trying to say she loved him and it angered me. Hurridly I walked over and pulled him off of her. Her eyes grew when she realized she was going to live. She scrambled to sit up and she did watching us. "You're a ass!" I yelled and pushed him into the wall. "She's getting what she deserves I know she's your dirty little whore she's good for nothing!" Yeah he was obviously drunk but seriously she was nothing of mine sadly. Suddenly fists were flying and he got me in the eye. I through one out and it smacked him in the nose and another in the head. He stumbled backward hitting his head making him unconsious. Quickly before anything could happen I dragged him to the door and through him out locking it so he couldn't get in for a while. I went over to her and it was worse than I thought. Her neck was brusied and swelling along with alot of her face. We just stood there staring at each other for what felt like forever.

"Look at what he's done to you"

"I deserved it he only did it because i'm not good enough i'll never be good enough will I?"

"Clary"

I went to touch her shoulder and she backed away slowly. Finally I took a step and she ran off into her bedroom and she locked the door. Hurrying I ran over to the door. I knew what she was going to do she wasn't safe by herself. She could not kill herself, she was good enough she more than that I loved her and I wish she saw it. I heard the pills and her whimpered scream as she cut herself. I would not allow her to go out like this she deserved a chance to live. Without thinking I kicked down the door and she turned around her pill bottle dropping from her hand slamming to the ground. I looked around I saw everything (also in shock I was in her room tbh). Her blades the pictures of girls she wanted to look like I saw everything Sebastian had planted in here to make her want to be "better". Then I saw a beautiful picture of her it was in black and white but it set on Sebastian and hers night stand. She was in a nice dress one hand under her chin and another around herself. She had dark make up on and she had this sexy beautiful look on her face that I loved. My eyes turned back to her and she was still staring at me in awe. I couldn't take it anymore I had to have her in my arms.

Clary P.O.V

"He's killing you clarissa why can't you see that!"

He looked at me like I was some crazy woman. He wasn't killing me I choose this path I was doing what I had to. Jonathan Herondale this strange boy stood there staring at me like I was crazy. But also like I was the best thing he'd ever lain his eyes on. Looking around I couldn't make anything out anymore. My mind raced and I just stood there with time standing still my mind drowing but also trying to make sure it never took another breath. I breathed his name and his eyes shone like gold at me pleading with all his power.

"He's not hurting me"

He took my britle body in his arms and pushed my full red hair out of my eyes his scanning my body and face.

"Look at what he's done to you clarissa you used to eat... you used to love yourself and be a model look at you now.. you just sell yourself"

My eyes shifted over to the mirror. The skin on my bones at a glass like state my stomach threating to cave in and kill me my ribs sticking out faintly against my skin. When had I let myself get to this? Why had I let it come this far. I looked over to the inside of my bedroom, my pills scattered on the floor,bed and table from when he'd barged in. I was still a model but not like I used to be. I missed the flow of my long hair before it started to fall out I missed my plump red lips and bright eyes I looked nothing like that girl in the pictures almost anymore. What the fuck did a cheese burger even taste like anymore? My blades lay blood stained on my jewlrey box and while I took all this in he looked at me. "I was about to go" I said softly still in his arms and his eyes looked at me sad. "Where?" he whispered and I remebered he called me his fallen wingless angel.

"Home"

I collasped into him and he held me close while I cried. "I need help" I whispered and he kissed my hair. My eyes shifted to look up at him and I saw that his eye was swelling and blood coming from his nose a small bit. "Let's get you cleaned up" and I took him by the hand to the kitchen. I had him sit down and I got a ice pack and a rag with ointment on it. Gently I hopped up onto the counter and pressed the ice pack to his eyes while I used the clean side of the rag to wipe his blood. Carefully I rubbed the ointment on his nose then took his ice pack off. He winced and I kissed his cheek making him turn red. "Thank you" I said rubbing the stuff on his eye now and he smiled at me. When I finished he got up and made me stay on the counter. Quickly he went through our first aid drawer and came back over to me with everything. "Jace your hand" I looked down and it looked hurt so I wrapped it before he got start on me.

"I am a manly man and men do not need their hand wrapped"

"Yeah and you're a stubborn man who needs to coproperate"

Sighing he let me finish and he began tending to my face. When he was done he packed everything back in the drawer and helped me off of the counter. I stayed there though and his hands stayed on my hips. "I love you clary" he whispered leaning his forehead against mine and I leaned mine against his equally the best I could. "And I love you Jonathan Herondale" his eyes fluttered open at these words. "Really?" I nodded and brought his lips down on mine with force. He stood there kissing me until we ran out of breath. "What are we going to do?" and he looked out the window only to see Sebastian had gotten up and left somewhere. I thought about this for a minute "I have a plan" I said casually and he smiled at me. "Like what?" he said with a devilish grin. I brought his lips down to mine with his tie like that one night and smiled. "Like this."

"That plans amazing!" Isabelle yelled over the phone while I packed all my things into a bag Jace helping me. We got to my blades and pills and I took a deep breath Jace putting his arms around my waist. I threw them away and he kissed my cheek with approval. "I know" I said modestly handing the bags to Jace. "Explain it one more time" Isabelle said "just so Magnus can hear it's pure genuis."

"I'm going to pack up everything and go to live with Jace for awhile and let Sebastian think he killed me and hide out for a bit of course im technically still his "Girlfriend" but after I freak him out for about a good month and come back home with the cops obviously I wont be anymore Jace took pictures of the wounds he gave me so we'd have proof and that's all we need but in the mean time I won't time having a work affair with my boss"

"A very sexy work affair might I add" and he kissed my neck

"Not now" I said and I heard Izzy squeal through the phone at magnus's approval. "Okay pack on some weight and then get back to work!" he demaned and I laughed agreeing. Rummaging though everything I took the extra key Sebastian knew nothing about and walked out of the door with Jace. Quickly not to be seen he hailed a cab getting me inside as I was all dressed in black hiding my red hair. I snuggled into him and started to sleep. Maybe things were looking up for me.


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up sunlight filtering through into a room i'd never seen before. I looked over and saw Jace sound asleep beside me. His hair ruffled and shirtless. Smirking I rolled over and ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his jaw line slowly. He smiled in his sleep and stirred a pleasent sound escaping his mouth. Jace pulled me close in his arms and I rested my head against him. Wrapping my legs around him one of my hands traveling down low on him as I continued to kiss his neck and jaw. He groaned and one of his hands grabbed mine and pulled it up to his mouth as he kissed my knuckles eyes still closed. "You know morrning sex is quite awful" he said matter of factly and I rolled my eyes. "It's not like we've done anything in over a month" I said snuggling my head deeper against his chest. "That" he said with absolute clarity "is not my fault dear clarissa." I sat up and crossed my arms looking down at him his golden eyes shining up into my green ones.

"Yes because everything is my fault Jonathan"

"You miss interpret what I say and don't call me that"

"I know what you mean... that this was all my fault...then fine stop calling me clarissa"

"But it's your name and no I did not mean that don't be so sensitive babe"

He was making me mad we weren't even "together" and I already wanted to punch him upside the head like I was his wife.

"Yeah and Jonathan is your name see a difference? because I think not...wow stop being sensitive nice Jace"

"But Clarissa is a beautiful name and it fix a very sexy lady Jonathan is over used and I don't feel like it fits me my dear clary, why must you get so mad I love you if that helps"

"Whatever Jace plays your cards I don't care and really can you stop speaking like a man from the 1800's or 1900's for one freaking minute i'm trying to have a mature conversation!"

He sat up and took my hand in his and I kept glaring at him.

"Future baby maker I am here to listen"

"You idiot!" I laughed hating that he had made me do it. Groaning I shoved my face in my pillow and slapped him. He was shaking his head and laughing at me I could tell. Jace got up and started towards the door and I turned my head to look at him. "Nice ass" I said groggily and he turned smiling at me. "That is my line clary" I smirked "not anymore goldilocks." He took a step forward "now you have gone to far" he ran over picking me up in his arms making me scream for joy like a little girl. We stopped in the kitchen and he sat me down on a nice coushined chair and went over begining to fix breakfast. "What do you want?" he asked me looking for something. "I'm trying to lose weight Jace" I saw him tense and he turned around looking me straight on. "Clary" he said and I could see his eyes watering slightly. "Eat something" he pleaded "for me?" I sighed. I knew I was going to have to go into recovery mode but I didn't think it would be so soon. "Fine" I mumbled upset but it made him smile so I guess it was worth it. Ten minutes later he was digging into a stack of pancakes, eggs and bacon. While he did that I sat there staring at mine just pushing it around on my plate. What if I puked it up? what if it tasted bad? what if I ended up puking on him? These questions are what kept me from eating it until Jace looked up and saw my worried look. "Whats wrong?" I shurgged my shoulders feelings like a teenager again and he came over wrapping his arm around me. "Tell me" he said looking at me with those eyes of his once more. I wanted to tell him and I was going to as soon as his shirtless body stopped looking like a golden temple of hotness. Which incase you were wondering was never. He kept staring at me and I decided to.

"What if I eat it and I throw it up? I just really don't want my body to reject it...you'd think less of me"

So much for never. I looked down nope his chisled chest and abs were still a golden temple of hotness.

"I could never think less of you clary I understand you might throw it up that's part of going through what you are"

I started crying and he held me close until I stopped.

"I don't deserve you"

He took my face in his and kissed me gently and softly.

"If anything I don't deserve you you're an angel clary never forget that beautiful"

Taking a deep breath I shakily took a few mouthfuls of the food and choaked it down. He smiled at me patting my head and I felt a bit better. That is until I felt the churning it came up so quick I could barely do anything about it. Before I knew it I was throwing it up in one of his plants with no control. Finally I finished and he was standing over me with that look I hadn't wanted to see. Quickly I got up and ran back to that room locking the door. Five mintes later there was a knocking and I yelled at him to go away. I wiped my tears and I heard the lock click. Of course he had a key after all it was his room. Everything in this place was so fancy I was scared to touch anything or do anything it didn't feel like home at all. He walked it shutting the door and sat on the edge of the bed. "Clary?" he said putting a hand on my foot and I pulled it back a bit. "You looked at me like I was a monster" I said hiding my face from him. I felt him crawl over to me and he put his hands on my face making me face him.

"I was worried about you Clary I love you"

I nodded and he came down kissing me. "You know" I said still kissing him on the bed "we slept in past tvelve so technically it wouldn't be morning sex." He let out a hearty laughed got inbetween my legs.

"It wouldn't be would it?"

"Nope?"

"Well in that case be prepared to be sore for the rest of the day"

He started taking my clothes off when there was a knock on the door. His face looked worried like he'd forgoten to tell me something. "Jace?" I asked putting my shirt back on and he backed to the door.

"I'm going to be honest I forgot to tell you about someone but she's really nice I promise"

I god he had a wife. Or worse a girlfriend oh god I was the other fucking woman. No I was not ruining someones life oh holy no can't nope. He opened the door and I prepared myself for the worst. When it opened all the way though all I saw was a beautiful little girl around two. She had golden eyes and golden brown hair, a teddy bear in hand. Jace picked her up and brought her over to me. The girls eyes widened at seeing me and I smiled.

"Daddy who's this?"

Daddy wtf? I don't know if he forgot to mention this or like...jace come on you have a kid.

"She's pretty!"

Okay it was offical I liked this kid. She was my new bestfriend.

"Is this the girl you've been telling me about for the past year? she looks like she does in the pictures! but skinnier and tired are you sick ma'am?"

My heart fluttered he'd told his daughter about me ever since we met. He even had pictures of me that was cute besides from the slight creeper status of it. Jace sat her on the bed and I looked her in the eyes.

"No i'm just getting over being sick your daddy's been helping me for the past year I really love him alot"

Her eyes lit up like little lights and she smiled at her dad when he said he loved me to. Surprising me she crawled into my arms and hugged me cuddling against my body.

"I finally have a mommy"

Okay I was dead she was absolutly perfect.

Jace sent the little girl off to watch TV and shut the door. I looked at him my arms crossed glaring. "Forget to tell me something Jace?" I said making him uncomforable.

"She's not really my daughter"

"Are you lying?"

"No well kind of I guess in a way im her legal care taker until her mom comes back that is if she does"

"Then why does she have your eyes Jace!"

"Shes my friends"

"Jace no lies"

"Fine okay so my buddy wanted to have a kid with his wife Tessa right? well turns out he was baren sooo I might have donated some of the boys to help ya know? Yes technically I am her dad but me and Tessa have nothing she was with my relative will at one time until he died and Jem went missing so she's off helping him and yeah Tessa explained the whole dad thing to little Olivia but she calls both of us dad well she mostly calls me Jace but sometimes dad comes out but I asure you she calls Jem daddy all the time no matter what..kind of hurts but whatever"

I looked at him and his forced smile. I frowned but suddenly I burst out laughing and hugged him.

"So what did she mean by I finally have a mommy?"

"She meant she finally has a "mommy" here with Jace"

"Well i'm proud to be her little substitue mommy"

"A very sexy substitue mommy"

He started kissing my neck,sucking on it and feeling me up when the door opened again. Quickly I pushed him off of me and looked down on a small little Olivia. "Jace?" she asked scrunching her brow together "what are you doing to my mommy's neck it's turning purple?" I couldn't help it I bust out laughing and he stood there red faced stammering. "Here olivia" I said grabbing her hand "you want cookies?" She jumped up and down smiling as I picked her up and carried her to the kitchen sitting her down.

"I love you clary!"

"I love you to Olivia"

**_Sorry if this is a little short anyway review and tell me what you think :3_**


	10. Chapter 10

"Anymore kids I should know about?" I ask while making cookies. Well atempting to the best I could. "Nope none that I know of" he smiled while playing ponies with Olivia at the table. Getting frustrated I put the cookie dough down and crossed my arms. "Your oven and cookie dough are disfunctional" and he just smiled at me. Coming over he got the oven to work and then shoved the cookie dough in. "Sure about about?" I rolled my eyes "oh shut up."

"Shut up is a bad word!"

"No it's not"

"Yes it is daddy Jace!"

"Says who?"

"Mommy well she tells me not to say it so it must be bad!"

Jace smirked down at his little girl who was sticking her bottom lip out at him. I knew what was coming next.

"Well your mother is stupid"

Of course he couldn't even keep a smart remark from his own daughter. I held in a giggle and she stood up on her chair mad. How could you take a little girl in pink jammies with stuffed animals and toys along with pigtails seriously when she was mad?

"STUPID IS A MEAN WORD "

"NO IT ISN'T"

"YES IT IS!"

I strolled over and picked her up just as she smacked her little hands on either side of Jace face. He stuck his tongue out at her and she glared at him hanging onto me. "Yep she's her mothers" he remarked sipping his coffe. "You're so mean" I laughed and sat her down. "Olivia" he said sternly coming out into the living room "it's almost one in the after noon." "So?" oh my god she sounded so much like him.

"Time to get dressed"

"But you aren't dressed"

"I'm a grown up and I wont have them on for long, but you disturbed me and clarys game earlier in the bed and daddy never got to finish what he started so there fore daddy Jace shall wear his jammies till he finishes it"

Oh my god.

"Fine"

She got up taking him by the hand and looked back at me really quick.

"Finish the game with him so he takes them off please!"

"Oh yes clary please do"

He walked away down the hall way with her and I was tempted to punch him in the face. I decided against it thought it was just to cute how he was using her to help him score. It was also adorable how she didn't even he was doing it.

I heard them talking so I snuck down the hall and looked into Olivia's room. It was a room meant for a princess I can tell you that much. Jace was going through his wallet and handed his daughter a dollar.

"What about the candy?"

He groaned and handed a sucker to her and she poped it into her mouth smiling.

"Thank you for being a good girl"

"I want my big sister and broder!"

She stomped her foot and sat down on the bed Jace sighing. He brought the crying little girl into his arms and kissed her. "I know" he said soothing her lovingly and rocking her. "They're staying with mommy's parents though babe." "Then why am I here?" she asked him while he wipped the tears from his eyes. "Because their daddy died and i'm yours so you stay with me while they're there." Her head hung low and she went over to her dresser pulling out a pair of skinny jeans and a long sleeved black shirt. Jace helped her put them on and pulled her up into his lap.

"Do you know who loves you more than anything little miss Olivia?"

"You,mommy and daddy?"

"Exactly and so do your brother and sister i'm sure they're okay after all Will is sixteen and Mia is almost fifteen"

She pouted knowing he was right. Making her face him he smiled taking her hair out of the pony tails she had in. "Brush my hair?" she asked handing him the brush sadly. "You know the price" he said making both of them smile. She put both of her hands on either of his cheeks and leaned in giving him a kiss. He started brushing her hair and I walked in pretending I heard nothing. "So Olivia baby how old are you?" and she held up three fingers and a knuckle. I smiled and asked her what the little knuckle meant. "It means i'm about to be four!" she yelled with excitment and Jace rolled his eyes pinning her hair back out of her face.

"Jace how old are you?"

"About to be twenty one why?"

"You donated when you were seventeen?"

"They needed a kid they weren't getting any younger and I didn't care it was worth it in my opinion"

"You do realize when you start having kids her other siblings are going to all grown up and she gonna be kind of old right? hows she going to explain that to her friends?"

He put her down and she ran out of the room. Sighing he put his hands in his pockets and looked at me.

"I don't want to talk about her growing up or anything like that right now okay?"

"Jace this is serious did you even think this through?"

"Maybe I did maybe I didn't what does it matter she not even my daughter or going to be with me within a year or more they live in london most of the time clary I wont get to see her so it dosen't matter nothing matters"

Jace got up and walked out the room. He was not going to do this I refused to let him act like he was three that she Olivia's job. I followed him in the bedroom and closed the door locking it. "We're taking this out" I demanded and he looked at me like I was some bug. "Don't look at me like that!" he yelled and there a knocking on the door. "Go to your room for a bit olivia okay?" a small okay answered and I heard tiny foot steps go down the hall. "You want to have visitation for her don't you?" and his eyes widened looking at me. "That's crazy of course not she's Tessa and Jem's" he protested sitting down. "Olivia is yours to! you have every right to love and want that little angel around!" He groaned trying to leave but I blocked his way. When he tried to get by me his body pushed me into the door causing a banging noise. His eyes looked at me full of worry but I just closed mine. "Clary i'm sorry I didn't mean to" and I believed him. "I'm used to it" I said and I knew guilt was setting inside of him. Sighing he brought me into his arms and I hugged him back kissing his cheek. "Maybe I do want her to stay around" he admited and I kissed him softly. "Theres nothing wrong with that" and I cupped his face with my hand. "Can we finish our game now?" he asked causing me to bust out laughing.

"Tonight maybe"

"Umm Tonight absolutly don't leave me hanging Clary"

Before he could do anything else I walked out of the room causing him to chase after me. I wouldn't tell him this but teasing him gave me so much life.

By ten that night Olivia was asleep on Jace snoring sweetly. He snores like that to I found out when he took a nap today. Slowly he picked her up in his arms my eyes locked on the muscels in his arms. He didn't seem to noctice me though he was busy pushing the hair out of her face and giving her small kisses. Jace took her to her bedroom and a few minutes later he came out and came over to the couch sitting with me. Slowly I ran my hand along his thigh stopping high on it and I felt him tense. Not giving anything away I kept watching the T.V but saw him sneak looks at me out of the corner of my eyes. Yawning I leaned over to grab the popcorn making him get a face full of my chest and he gulped slightly. Smugly I squeezed his thigh scooting closer leaning against him and putting my hand further up and a little to the side. A small grunt escaped from his mouth and I looked down. His pants were buldging extremly causing me to giggle a little. He looked over at me a hungry look in his eyes while he cupped my cheek with his hand

"Your killing me"

"Good"

He went to kiss me but I backed away putting a finger to his lips and kissed along his jaw. Which I knew would cause his erection to get worse and hurt. "Fuck" he groaned hands going to my hips and I took them off of me.

"Not yet"

He pouted and whined like a small child

"When?"

I kissed his pouting lips and took his hands leading him to the bedroom. "Now?" he asked curiously and I shook my head at him. "I have a surprise for you" and I walked into the bathroom connected to our room.


	11. Chapter 11

Jace P.O.V

I waited there ten minutes trying to calm down my painful throbbing erection till it finally went away. Clary was still in the bathroom though and I couldn't help but wonder what was going on. She was perfect and I love how she took to olivia amazingly and she was right actually. I had every right to love my biological daughter and I shouldn't have to be scared to Tessa that. Of all people Tessa would understand she even told me one time if I ever wanted weekends to have olivia just to hit her up and she'd go to the judge and get it set up. The door knob turned and my head whipped around and what I saw caused me to get hard once again. Her cheeks were slightly flushed her hair hanging sexily in her face but thats not what got me that way. The only thing she was wearing was the little silk robe that barely even covered her, back from that one photoshoot. One that Sebastian was probably seeing all over seeming as Magnus thought pictures of us should be plastered all over. She walked over slowly toying with the ribbion on it. All I wanted to do was pull it off her and just push in but I knew with her it wouldn't be easy. Coming over she sat down on my lap spreading her legs all her hair pushed to the side leaving her pale neck bare. I could hear myself whimper making her smirk grow. How she or anyone drove me this crazy I had no idea but she was special. My hands went to the robe and she shook her head. "Now Jace" she whispered in my ear causing the situation in my pants to get worse. "No rushing my plans" she said and my hand went to her robe pushing the sleeve down exposing her shoulder. Teasing me she leaned in biting my neck leaving hicky after hicky probably and I did the same to her as well. Slowly she stood up and took a few steps back and I started getting excited. I am a man after all this is what I live for.

"Ready?

"Please"

My voice squeaked and she smiled slowly and suductivly taking it off. The more skin that was being shown as she did it caused me to breath harder and harder. Finally the robe dropped to the floor and she was left there standing basically taking my breath away. She was wearing a garder on her thigh and dark sexy green corset with what I was hoping had a lingerie underneath. My breathing stopped and all I did was stare at her beautiful body the one that I would be inside of in a few moments.

Clary P.O.V

He looked at me like I was a piece of meat and I enjoyed it more than I led on. I made my way back over to the bed and leaned against the head board. Jace crawled his way over to me getting inbetween my legs. It was like a dream that I was doing this and the fact that he was my boss made it even fucking better right now. "I'm getting some fifty shades of grey fantasy from this" he said licking my chest lightly trying his best to tease me. He had me pinned down at this moment still on top of me. Honestly he should know by now he has to work harder to earn whatever he wants. "Yeah" I said smirking "but i'm much kinkier." As soon as I said it his eyes grew and I held back a small laugh. "If you can handel fifty shades of grey why don't you open your night stand." Once again those eyes of his grew and he leaned over opening it slowly. "You know i'd really love a sex swing" he pleaded and I rolled my eyes. Yeah right not with a child in the house she'd try and use it to actually swing in. Jace leaned back up all of my little toy in his hand.

"Problem herondale?"

"No absolutly not"

Without warning he pulled my corset of and was left with what was underneath. By the look on his face I could tell he was going to have fun with this. He took the robe from beside the bed and bound my hands fifty shades of grey style and above my head at that. Now he was looming over me planting kisses all along my body only stopping to suck my nipples through my bra slightly. Finally his face landed between my legs and he started planting kisses through my panties. A few moments later he had my underwear off and his tongue plunged inside of me. My back arched and my hands almost came infront of me as I let out a moan. I could feel his smile inside of me, I didn't know how he could stand it I was soaked down there from him a moment ago. He came up and started kissing along my stomach line while he pumped his fingers fast and harder. There was this smirk on his face as I let out fast and high pitched moans. His other hand made its way up my back and released my bra from its place flinging it on the floor. Still pumping hard he started sucking on my nipples nipping them and usuing his tongue. I could feel the wetness pour out of me around his fingers and I knew it was probably all over the bed along with the cum I knew was coming out. "Jace" I moanded out and he started sucking hard and pulled his fingers out. Making me watch him he licked off his fingers slowly and then moved to my neck biting it. Before I even could make sense of what was happening he pushed in moving his body back and forth basically plunging inside of me back and forth and hard. I screamed in shock and pleasure as the bed hit the wall slightly and my hands came unloose. Wrapping my legs around him while he kept going I felt my nails dig into his back. Jace moved his lips to mine his back arching this time "fuck" he moaned against my lips as nails moved across his back. I couldn't help it I was panting and begging for air almost. He was doing everything right everything I always dreamed about. He made me scream and pulled my hair lightly at all the right times and oh my fucking god it was perfect. Once again he shoved in extremly hard and once again the bed bagan hitting the wall as I let out high pitched moans orgasming into him. "Jace" I practically screamed tugging on his hair hard as he began orgasiming to. Which in hind sight probably wasn't a good thing to be doing at the same time. "Olivia" he manged to growl out sexily digging his nails in my sides for support as I pushed my hips upward forcing his member to go further inside of me as I kept coming. "Shes sleeping" I said breathily wishing she wasn't in the house right now. Jace seemed to belive this and kept going until the door started creaking open. Hurridly he threw a blanket over us and I realized my hands were still basically bound together just a little loose to the point where i'd been able to do all that. So I kept them under everything when I saw a small golden head walk in and look at us.

"Daddy?"

She rubbed her eyes but they widened looking at us. Jace was still on top of me covered up but he was still pushing inside of me. Meanwhile we were both trying not to react to any of the fluids from each other pouring into the other. "Yes?" he asked his voice almost squeaking while I tried to calm my heavy breathing.

"Why is the bed slamming against the wall?"

"Umm"

"Why is clary screaming your name?"

Scilence on Jace's end

"are you hurting her?! what are you doing!"

Before Jace could answer the worrided little girl ran over to us and everything froze.

"Are you okay mommy I don't want anything to happen to you!"

"I'm fine"

I manged to get out and Olivia walked over to the end of the bed where our soaked covers and under clothes were. Not to mention my special toys. Innocently she picked up my dildo and I wanted to cry and Jace's eyes grew. She made a face and threw all of the toys to the ground saying they were ugly. She may think that now but lets be honest when she gets older they'll be her freaking best friend. Then her eyes feel on everything else.

"Why did you mash bananas and put mash potatos on all of your underwear and stuff? and whats on the covers..."

She bent down to go touch it thinking obviously it was one of those to foods. Suddenly I had a panic attack in my mind. Oh my god his daughter was about to freaking touch that and even worse maybe put it in her mouth. Quickly Jace leaned over pulling her in front of us before she could even do anything. His chest was exposed and she glared at him.

"What are you doing daddy!"

She stomped and Jace sighed annoyed by her presence.

"Nothing"

"Are you making a baby?"

Oh my god

"NO! why would you think that?!"

"Well when Magnus and my big brother were over baby sitting they pulled out your special types I think they called them this thing called porn and when I walked in bubby shut it off and uncle Magnus said baby making was in the process and you look like they did but only I cant see"

She leaned over to look inside the covers and Jace pulled out of me making me wince and told Olivia to go to bed.

"Okay but what are you doooiiinnnggg"

"This is me and mommys new game its a special kind of wrestling"

"I WANNA PLAY WITH YOU GUYS!"

"NO"

She looked at her father with a death glare and he stuck his tongue at her.

"It's only for adults that love each other a man and woman only"

"What about Magnus and Alec"

"Okay they count"

"But what about Mr. Car and Mrs. Garage?"

"Umm they have two cars"

"But that makes no sense!"

"WELL IT WORKS THE CARS CRASH TOGETHER AND MAKE A SPECIAL ACCIDENT FULL OF HAPPINESS AND RAINBOWS"

Olivia's lip quivered like she was about to cry and he sat up making sure his lap and all of me was covered. "Olivia" he said pulling her on his lips kissing her hair lovingly. "I'm sorry baby daddy's just very tired wanna go to bed?" she nodded and kissed him. "Why are you tired?" she asked curiously and a smirk formed on his face. Perv I though. "The game" he replied setting her back down on the floor. "Who won?" olivia asked and I looked to Jace knowing this could go two ways with him.

"I'd say daddy because he just got to play the game with mommy but probably mommy but she's really hard core and has special tricks that do things to me"

Olivia nodded and ran out of the room and he locked the door.

"So I won now did I?"

"Round one its not over till round three"

"Come at me then"

He ran over to the bed and jumped under the covers excited to continue.


	12. Chapter 12

I got up in the morrning and attemped to cover the hickies covering my neck and stomach along with the one inhabiting my lower lip. Meanwhile Jace was up getting ready for work with me prepared to go out and flauent his to the world. Upset that I had barely gotten them coverd I put my concealer down and dug through my make up bag. "Why so much make up clare?" she asked buttoning up his shirt and I rolled my eyes filling in my entired face and neck with it. "I'm a model Jace just think about that" and he laughed causing me to glare at him.

"Correction beautiful you were a model you were just a prostitue or a stripper for a month or whatever you want to call it"

Finally angry with him I started applying bronzer to my face. I didn't care if I did love him or he owned a fucking law firm and taxi company I couldn't belive he said that to me.

"Clary?"

"Don't talk to me"

"I was joking baby"

I got up.

"No you weren't! I was fired and that hurt then there was dealing with you and I couldn't do that and you treated me like shit! not to mention my pay wasn't that good anyway so I had to do something its not like I wanted that dumb night job Sebastian made me so next time before you ever bring up my damn life problems think about everything before you say it"

Huffing I turned back to the mirror and put on my eyeliner and lipstick. God sometimes he was so stupid poor olivia was stuck with a ass for a father. Standing up I placed all my things back in the make up bed and went through my clothes. Even though i'd barely been here for a week I still didn't unpack I was too tired. Jace came up behind me and turned me to face him.

"I love you clary and don't you ever doubt that for a moment"

Sighing I nodded and leaned against him.

"I know"

Half an hour later Jace was walking out the door me on his heels about to follow but he stopped me. I raised my eyebrows at him and he smiled like he wanted something. "What?" I said crossing my arms I swear it was almost eight if I got up early for nothing he was a dead man. "I need you to stay home with Olivia bye!" before I could protest he kissed me on the head and closed the door. Oh how amazing I wasn't even the childs mother and I was stuck at home alone with her. It wasn't that I didn't love Olivia she was a nice girl but it was more obvious she pushed Jace around. I wasn't worried for me really I was worrided for her cause if there was one thing I didn't take it was getting pushed around. Especially by some little three year old girl. Sighing I put my stuff down and peeked in Olivia's bedroom. She was turned facing her sliding door. Her reflection in the mirror showed and I could see that her little eyes were open and she was clutching one of Jaces pillows against her along with a teddy bear that said Jem Jr. on it. Jem was her fathers name I remembered as I walked in and closed the door. Sleepily she turned my way and smiled smally still having both in hand.

"Are you sleeping with daddys pillow"

"Yeah Jace's pillow smells good like him it helps me sleep when I have bad dreams and I can't go to bed without it"

I walked over and sat down on her bed.

"And whos this little guy?"

She giggled and kissed her teddy bear.

"Daddy Jem gave it to me"

"Olivia?"

"yes clary?"

"Why do you call one daddy Jem and daddy Jace?"

"I don't know Jems my daddy and I love him so so so much but I love my actual daddy to"

I nodded and took her hand helping her up.

"Does your mommy know that?"

"No mommy doesn't like talking about that stuff"

"Oh"

"Yeah she says I can come live here on the weekends but I don't want to hurt her feelings or Daddys"

I nodded and smiled at her.

"How about no getting dressed today since Jace went to work?"

"Really?!"

"Yep"

Olivia smiled and ran out of the room and I followed her down the hall. Silently I watched as she made her way into the kitchen and grabbed herself milk and a piece of already made toast and jam. Probably the doing of Jace since I didn't know where like any of the food was. Olivia made her way over to the couch and crawled up setting her things on the table. She looked over at me and patted the coushin. "Go get on jammies and come sit with me!" she pleaded and I laughed agreeing with her. A few moments later I came out in a tee and sweat pants my hair pulled up in a bun. Olivia smiled and I sat down with her on the couch and proceeded to watch cartoons. That is until the doorbell rang. She jumped up and amazingly opened the door without waiting like she already knew who it was. No doubt she probably did know who it was. Magnus the sparkly devil walked in with alec and everyone smiling. Isabelle gave Olivia a pat on the head cauing the little girl to glare as she walked over to me sitting down.

"See you've met the perfect child"

"Come on Isabelle she's fine"

Isabelle shrugged her shoulder and looked over at Magnus who was showing Olivia a magic trick.

"Yo lil' bitch"

Olivia looked up and glared while I just stood with my mouth open. Did she seriously call a toddler a lil' bitch?

"Isabelle"

"What i've been calling her that since she could say her first word"

I rolled my eyes smiling and looked over at Magnus. Olivia ran off to her room and he walked over to join us. We still hadn't made up and now that I looked back it was childish. I wouldn't tell him that though. Without a word I got up and made my way over to the kitchen and took my medication while they all sat there in the living room. When I came back Magnus stood up and looked at me.

"Theres a reason why I came here clary"

"Whats that?" I asked sitting down with Isabelle turning on american horror story. Magnus sighed like this was going to kill him. Alec shot his love a glare and told him to get on with it and suck up his pride. Magnus rolled his eyes and finally looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry I didn't take anything into consideration and fired you and I came back here to offer you your job back"

"Really?"

"Really you know if you can get those hickies cleaned up by ur shoot tomorrow"

"Oh my god Magnus!"

I squealed and hugged him tight. At first he hesitated but then his strong arms wraped around me bringing my off the ground.

"Magnus thank you im sorry you're such a great friend I love you"

He laughed and smiled at me. Sometimes I honestly thought he should be a model himself Alec would deffiently enjoy that.

"And I you my dear clarissa"

I smiled and he jokingly kissed me on the hand causing alec to roll his eyes. We all sat down and began discussing things when I told them about last night. "That poor child!" they all laughed and I joined in. "I know!" I proclaimed "but she has quiet a mouth and adittude on her!" Olivia came running out still in her pajamas and was looking at everyone with a mad face. With her little pout still on she got onto the couch and stood up. Okay she was obviously in one of her little moods. Smirking I got up from my seat and walked over to her bending down to her level. "Yes Olivia" I said daring her to go on and her lips pursed.

"I'm telling Daddy you have people over"

"Well he wont care"

"He will if I tell him you're talking about me"

"But i'm not I was talking about how you were last night"

"I can make it sound like you were hes my daddy not yours"

"You wouldn't dare"

"Try me"

We stood there glaring at each other. She could push Jace around all she wanted but the moment she messed with me she was done. I grabbed her by the arm and picked her up.

"I'll try you all you want go ahead and tell Jace but I can gaurentee you my little angel I will win"

That night Jace walked through the door and looked around for Olivia. "Where is she?" he asked curiously and I made him sit down. "Shes grounded" I replied and his eyes practically buldged out of his head. "She's only three!" he said and I realized he was such a push over. "Jace she hit me and threatened me and was horrible!" He rubbed his forehead and looked at me. "Only I can ground her" he sighed "Would you have if I hadn't?" I asked. He shook his head no and I stood up. Stalking off in my spanx shorts and tee shirt I walked into the bedroom and came back out. "What are you doing?" He asked as I put my pillow and a blanket on the couch. "Sleeping here" I replied and got under the covers and he looked at me amazed. "Why?" he whispered probably being sure not to wake olivia. "Because", I started, "I'm not sleeping with some push over daddy and its not like I can make you sleep on your own couch no thanks." I clicked on the TV while he just stood there staring at me. "You know sometimes I think I should've left you there with him." My heart stopped and I gulped disrectly so he couldn't see my hurt. Slowly I got up and looked in straight in the eyes. "Then why don't I just go back?" For a moment I could see something flash through his eyes but it disappeared. Smiling I went back into the room and pulled my still full bag out and by the door. "I'll leave first thing in the morning Jace now night" I covered back up but he still stood there staring at me. Ignoring him I started straching myself over and over on my arm till I felt the skin break and the feel of blood consum my arm. Comforted my head finally settled into the pillow but he was still there. I could feel him watching me,probably watching at the sheet turned red at a nice pace. "Clary?" he said his voice shaking and I flipped him off. I didn't want to hear his pity I didn't want to hear anyones. A moment later his shadow was lurking over me and I felt his hand go around my wrist. Slowly it was being pulled from the covers and I turned over to look at him. His other hand stroked my arm and I didn't pull it away. I let him hold my hand and wipe the blood off my arm gently. After that I let him take the sheet off me and pick me up like a small child while I wraped my legs around him. Without thinking I let him carry me to the bedroom and allow him to sit next to me. His lips went to my arms kissing every single scar and cut there'd ever been. Slowly he laid me down and bent down trailing kisses down my stomach. Every touch sent a shiver through my body and I wondered if he could feel it. He opened my legs up and started kissing my scars along there his hands stroking along my outter thigh. "You know" he said "Last night those scratches bled I have scars on my back now from you." I felt my face heat up and his smirk along my legs. "Jace" I said slightly turned on and he looked up at me from between my legs. Great now I would have hickies down there not that I minded that. "Did you mean all of that?" his head poped up and he began licking my neck. I moaned as my fingers dug into his beautifully golden hair. "Of course not" he mumbled against my pale heated skin and I kept moaning against his touch. "We have sex way to much" I managed to squeak out and I felt him chuckle. "Its never too much for a man" he said simply and kept trailing me with kisses and running his hands along me. "I got my modeling job back I have to go in for a shoot tomorrow." Jace stopped and looked at me smiling.

"So i'm about to fuck a model?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Yes Jace you're about to fuck a model why does it matter you've done this when I was a model before"

"Oh yes but you didn't enjoy it nor were you my sexy model side hoe"

"Please you're my side hoe"

"Jace Herondale is no ones side hoe Jace Herondale is da main hoe"

"Whatever just shut up and fuck me already"

"Ohhh so now your forward about sex"

"Shut up" I said and got on top of him. "If you do good enough you can come during your break and watch." He nodded and I just knew things were finally going my way. Even if that meant I had to mother a few three year old cuties while I was at it.


	13. Chapter 13

"She's a meanie daddy!"

"No she's not Olivia now stop it"

I watched from the doorway as Jace tried to talk some sense into his daughter. She was throwing a fit because I didn't know how to make smily face pancakes and I refused to try.

"Olivia stop being such a spolid brat ok?! can you do that for you damn father?"

"Why can't you make them Jace!"

"Because Olivia I can barely make ceral some days and I don't have time your mommy usually does all that shit but I don't"

I felt bad for the little girl at this moment. She looked at me with pleading eyes and I just wanted to hug her. The girl had been through a lot and I felt bad that I couldn't at least make her the kind of pancakes she wanted. Now she was stuck here getting yelled at by her own father. She kicked him and he smacked her bottom lightly and put her on the bed for a time out. As he walked out she came up to the door and he looked down on her while she looked up.

"YOU AREN'T MY DADDY I HATE YOU!"

Olivia slammed the door on his face and I was amazed. The girl had the adittude of a sixteen year old. I honestly appluded her for that but the way she handeled it not so much.

"Jace?"

He said nothing just hung his head kind of low and went into the kitchen. Nervously I bit my lip fingers instinctivly going to the neckless I always wore. Quietly I opened Olivias door and poked my head through. She was crying and she looked over at me sadly.

"We're going to work now but we love you olivia"

"I love you to Clary...tell daddy I love him"

A smile formed on my face and I nodded.

"I will but I feel he already knows be good for my brother Jonathan okay?"

"Okay!"

I closed the door and went over to the door with Jace. He helped me put my coat on and told Jon everything he needed to know about Olivia. Jon nodded and waved at us as we exited his house and made it to his car. As Jace drove down the road we listened to the radio and he just sighed. "She hates me" he said misrable and I smiled sadly at him. "Olivia told me to tell you she loves you daddy." Jace smiled sadly and looked at me hope in his eyes. "Really?" he asked and it made me laugh. She was only three did he really think she could hate him. Then again i'm not a parent and I know for a fact I did that to my mother father and Luke. I dont even think I can count how many times I said that kind of stuff to Jonathan and he's my own brother. "Really" I replied putting my hand on his as he pulled up to my modeling building. I leaned over and gave him a kiss but he stopped me. Taking my hand off the handel I turned around and looked at him curious. "You know what I really want right now?" he asked me and I shook my head no. "To take you in that back seat right now" he said matter of factly and planted a small kiss on my lips. "Then why don't you?" his eyes grew and he looked at me like he was shocked. "Really?" he breathed and once again I laughed at him. "No it's morrning and there are people out goodbye Jace" I started to get out but he put his arms around my waist. "If I can't do that at least let me do this" before I could question what it was he had gotten me over the seat and was on top of me. "Jace we are not doing this in your car in the daylight where people can see!" I shouted and he smirked. "Oh darling but it's so early and my windows are extremly tinted" maybe just mayne he was right. He started sucking on my neck and started pressing his lips to mine. Letting every thought melt away I started to kiss him enjoying it. Soon the sound from the streets disappeard and all I could think about was the sweet bliss of having his lips on mine. We unlocked and he started kissing my neck again sending a squirm through my body. Trying to convince him I wasn't in the mood I laid still and didn't kiss him. I saw a evil smirk on his face and he started grinding against me. "Jace" I moaned airily and quickly put my hand over my mouth hoping he didn't hear it. It was too late though he had already heard it I could tell by the smile on his face.

"Do I turn you on Clarissa?"

"No" I lied

By the look on his face I knew he wasn't buying it at all. Giving in I just let things go on from there. I let my hands go under his shirt and explore every muscel. My fingers traced his V line trailing up his abs then finally rested flat on his sculped chest. I kissed him one last time.

"I have to go Jace"

"Not before I get to do something before"

Trying to protest I felt his hand go under my mini skirt and I froze. "Jace?" I squeaked but the feeling of my undies being pushed away were enough of an answer. As soon as his fingers went in another moan escaped my lips and my back arched into the air. Oh my god if his windows weren't tinted this would be the worst possible situation. He shoved in harder and faster, my fingers clentched his hair and back. I felt a wetness come and I groaned. Out of pleasure and annoyence that it happened so easily. "Jace" I begged "I have to go please." In reality I really didn't have to I was just trying to stop what was sure to come and it was obvious he knew it. Slowly he pulled his hand out of me and smiled giving me a sweet kiss. "I'd return the favor but you know" and he nodded letting me up. Looking into one of the windows I saw my hair was crazy and I tried fixing it.

"Not gonna get better"

"Shut up"

I went to go hit him in the balls but he stopped my hand smiling.

"If it goes down there it works down there"

My face turned bright red and my cheeks flared like fire. Slowly I pulled my hand away and searched for my underwear. I looked over and they were on his head. "Jace" I warned and pulled them off of his head. He pouted and I pulled them on and took a deep breath.

"Bye baby"

We gave each other a nice sweet kiss and I crawled to the front of the car. Fixing my hair once more I opened the door and walked out onto the side walk.

"Be careful clare"

"I will Jace"

I gave him one last kiss and walked into the building. As soon as I walked in I saw Isabelle standing around. Then Simon came up to her and handed Isabelle what looked like her starbucks. She gave him a kiss and once she saw me her face lit up into a smile.

"Clare!"

I strutted over and took the coffee Simon reached out to me. Isabelle gave me a nice hug and I smiled. It honestly felt so amazing to be back in this building with her. Since we were both feeling lazy today we took the elevator up to the floor seeming as the stairs seemed to take forever. The door opened and we stepped out chatting until we opened the door. A few people looked over and smiled running over to give me hugs as they saw me. That is everyone except kaelie she just gave me a small scowl.

"Whats up her ass?"

"Oh she thought she was going to be so big after you left for a bit last month but she didn't and now that you're back she has no chance"

A small smile formed on my face and I felt the rush that came with this job coming back to me.

"So what are we doing today?"

"Summer clothes and underwear basically"

I nodded and took off to my changing station Alec standing there ready to get me changed.

"Underwear first?"

He nodded and handed it to me while turning around. I rolled my eyes and stripped down putting on the undies first. Having Alec hook my bra I kept my hair bunched out and then let it down. At least i'd get to see Maia at the make up station. I tried to talk to Alec but he seemed in a completely different world. Staring at Magnus doubt like he always does. My mouth pulled into a smirk and he glared at me as if reading my mind. Smiling sweetly I walked bare foot over to my station and sat down texting Jace. While we were discussing things Isabelle walked over not in heels like me. It was actually surprising seeming as Isabelle loved wearing heels. She sat down gently and began running her fingers threw that beautiful raven black hair of hers. Honestly it looked perfect on her and her chcolate eyes seemed to glow brighter today. Simon must have done something to make her happy. She only get's spacish and this out of it when Simon is involed. Seeming to read my mind she loved over to me and smiled. Slowly she put her hand near my face and I almost died at what I saw. Laying on her ring finger was a giant effing dimond and platnium wedding band embeded with tiny dimonds. I'd never seen a ring so beautiful I was tempted to rip it off her finger and just stare for hours.

"Oh my god Izzy"

She just squealed and stared down at it happily

"Do your parents and Alec know"

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Alec and Max yeah my parents eeeh"

Of course she hadn't told them. I rolled my eyes and smiled as Maia came over to do my make up and Alec went over to his sister. Maia clamped the straightner down on my hair and continued with the conversation. That is until she saw the ring on Isabelle's finger. Maia squealed and us girls all engaged in the conversation while Alec stood there staring off into space. The talking was interupted by the sound of Isabelle yelling in pain. I looked over and saw Alec had accidently burnt a piece of her hair. Grumbling Isabelle crossed his arms and Alec rolled his eyes. Trying to please his sister he grabbed some hair products and hid it. Not like she needed that much help with it her hair was already like pitch black almost. A few moments later the door opened and Jace stepped in his golden hair shining. Some of the girls stopped to stare and I felt myself getting jealous. Half of them wouldn't even be interested if they knew he had a baby girl back home. Rolling my eyes I watched as maia did my make up when Jace walked over and planted a sweet long kiss on me. A smile creeped up on me as Maia finished and left us alone since my shoot was in like ten minutes. My hair was down my back with my bangs pinned back into a bump with casual make up. white eye shadow, black eyeliner, mascara and simple lipgloss which actually looked pretty on me.

"Ready to watch?

Jace nodded giving me a small kiss and I got up handing some of my stuff to him to hold. Isabelle and I made our way over to the back ground and got in position together. It went like this for awhile and then we finally got changed into our summer outfits. They put me in this white shirt that was flowly and covered my back and sides but exposed my stomach covering everything else. Along with that I had on cute little heels brown boots a brown fedora and cute pre ripped denim shorts. Isabelle walked over her hair in a long braid going down her back. Her shirt had black sleeves that went down to her elbows and was white with black lettering that read not your wifey. She was wearing shorts just like mine and flip flops with sunglasses on. We were outside now in the back with the nature setting the dude had set up and were told to act natural. Since he said it me and Isabelle decided to act normal which was actually pretty funny. We did a few normal shots and thats when things got interesting. She splashed water at me and soon we were playfully fighting with water and wrestling in a way. Laughing I jumped on her back while she ran around with me. This wasn't even intended both of us had completely forgotten the dude was there and he must have noticed this. She face the camrea both of us laughing while I pulled her shades off putting them on my face. Still on her back I put my arms out like I was an hair plane and shot a few smiles,laugh and once duck face at the camrea. A few moments later we were finally done and he was congradulating both of us. Nodding happily Isabelle and I made it inside drying off our wet hair from the water fight we'd had. I sat down in my seat and Jace came over handing me my stuff. Once again he kissed me sweetly and I smiled at him. That when by surprise Jon walked over holding Olivia. She was dressed up in full diva mode and I laughed uncontrolably. Olivia got out of his grip and sat down on my lap making me sit on Jace's. All the girls gave me smiles and longing looks at our techincal family. Which I guessed was true we kind of were a family. Olivia gave me a kiss and pushed me and Jace's lips together. We both smiled while we did it when the door banged open with a voice I hoped i'd never hear again. Jace pushed me down under the table and Livvy cried out almost and all the girls looked at her with alarm. Worried I pulled her under the table and held her close. I could see his black hair from here and all the girls cowered away. Everyone knew of my plan and I hoped to god Kaelie wouldn't ruin it. Even she wasn't that evil at least I thought. Careufully Olivia snuggled in deeper to me and his foot steps approached and it became eerily quiet.

"Where is she?"

"Who"

Oh my god Jace please don't do this.

"You know i'm talking about that bitch"

"I haven't talked to her in almost a week she hasn't come into work you wouldn't happen to know what could've happen to her would you?"

Sebastian froze in his tracks and let out a nervous laugh. Everyone joined in the girls giving fake scared smiles.

"She went on Vacation"

"Then why are you asking where she is?"

"Just seeing if you knew thats why she hasn't been in"

"Why didn't she tell me then?"

"Because!"

He shouted and pushed him against a rack. Jace contained himself and Jon was glaring at him. I could see from everything from where I was under the table. I held Olivia closer as she began to shake and I whispered in her ear softly so no one could hear.

"You don't deserve my sister"

"Please without me she's nothing"

"Without you she's perfect you killed her every will to live"

Sebastian raised his fist but Magnus grabbed it before it could reach my brother.

"If you don't leave I will call the cops and they will be here in at least five minutes"

"Fine!"

He stormed out and we waited until people saw him drive away. Getting out from under the table I handed Olivia to Jace. She was still shaking but it wasn't from fear and I knew it. Something was wrong something was coming out of her mouth and she was in a ball clutching her hair. Jace seemed to notice and freaked out putting her on the ground.

"Olivia?"

No response

"OLIVIA BABY?!"

He was screaming now and she just stayed in the same position.

"Someone call 911"

Magnus looked at all of them and gestured

"NOW STOP STANDING AROUND THAT CHILDS GONNA FUCKING DIE IF YOU DON'T"

I kneeled with Jace and pushed her hair out of her Jace and cradled her in my arms. She seemed to be responsive but right now she had a chunk of her own ripped out hair in her hand.

"Olivia hang in for mommy okay?"

She whimpered and I felt relief run through me and Jace as I pressed cool rags to her. Jace took her in his arms and hurried downstairs with me at his side. The people were there so we got into the ambulance together and Jace held her hand.

"Baby Daddy loves you okay"

Once again she whimpered and gave a slight nod screaming out in pain. Crying out of sadness for her I pressed my face into Jace. He pulled me tight into his arms and kissed my forehead pressing our heads together. I knew he couldn't bare to see his baby like this so I let him. He held me like that the whole way to the hospital.


	14. Chapter 14

"What's wrong with my daughter?"

Jace and me were sitting in the hospital bed with olivia. Her eyes were open and she was playing with one of her little dolls. The doctor looked at Jace and told him everything was fine. That wasn't good enough for Jace though he wanted to know what had happened.

"She had a small sizure caused by stress and fear she's fine just try and keep her away from drama and action for the next week or so"

Jace nodded as the doctor left and he kissed Olivia's forehead. "How are you doing princess?" he asked her and she just shrugged her shoulders at him. She was hooked up to a few things but she didn't seem to mind. It was almost like she was used to it. Magnus and the rest of them walked through the door with two teenagers with dark hair. They walked over to Olivia and her smile got bigger. "Hi bubby!" The boy leaned down and kissed her,the girl probably the sister just sat down in the chair beside Jace. I let them talk while I just looked at the name on the end of Olivia's bed. It read Olivia Jane Adele Herondale/Carstairs. Jace did tell me Tessa wanted Olivia to have a elegant name and Tessa was right. Olivia's name sounded like a angel's it was simply beautiful.

"How closely were you and Will related Jace?"

He looked up and smiled up at me. Will and Mia looked up at me with small smiles and I saw a bit of Jace in them but they did look like their dad.

"Like second cousins once removed his last name was Herondale to his sisters and his genes kind of went to the lightwoods though"

I nodded so technically everyone in this room was related in multipule ways which actually wasn't that weird considering the circumstances.

The next day Olivia was sitting in her room while I brushed her hair gently. Something seemed to be bugging her so I called Jace in. He walked in slowly and she looked up at him sadly. How many surprises did this little girl have up her sleeve? Jace brought her into his lap and showered her with gentle kisses and she laughed. "Mommy's here" she whispered and Jace nodded. "Yeah clary's right there" he said pointing at me and Olivia shook her head no like he was stupid. "Not that mommy" Jace's face fell and he turned Olivia to face him. He cupped her face in his hand and I felt like I was intruding on a small moment of theirs. "Where? when?" he asked her and Olivia threw her arms around him squeezing him tight. "I'm going home" she whispered and Jace's head fell slightly and helped her off of the bed. "Where's your bag?" Olivia pulled it out from under her bed and I started to help Jace pack up her stuff. A few moments everything was packed but Olivia came running into the room jace's pillow in her hand. She went to go put it in her bag but he took it from her.

"I've been looking for this"

"Let me take it?"

Jace sighed and nodded as she packed his pillow into her bag along with one of his night shirts. He kissed her once again and Olivia ran into my arms squeezing me tight.

"I love you clary"

"I love you to"

There was a knock coming from the living room and Jace got up. He took a deep breath and left the room I knew he was crying cause I was crying. Olivia wiped the tear from my eye and kissed my cheek.

"I'll be back"

I laughed and picked up her bag while holding her hand the whole way in the living room. Jace was standing there in the living room with a beautiful girl and a oriental looking man. Who actually wasn't the bad looking if I say so myself. Tessa the girl probably had her dark brown hair in a messy bun and looked over smiling when she saw Olivia. She frowned however when she saw me and crossed her arms. Awkwardly I leaned down at Olivia's command and allowed her to hang by my neck while she gave me a hug. Carrying her over to Jace I handed Jem Olivia's bag and he smiled greatfully at me.

"I'm sorry I didn't give you a heads up Jace"

"It's fine honestly"

"I love you daddy"

"Love you to"

"Not you I was talking to Jace"

Jem's face fell as Olivia clung to her real father showering him with her kisses.

"Bye mommy i'll miss you"

Olivia showered me in kisses also and hugged us both at the same time. Tessa seemed slightly bothered but she played it off with a small smile. Jem however seemed not to care just happy to see his baby girl. Olivia went into his arms and hugged him tightly. "I missed you Jem" he laughed and squeezed her. "Missed you to bug" he started to walk away but Olivia screamed and he stopped.

"I DON'T WANNA GO!"

Tessa looked at her daughter as she wiggled and ran into Jace's arm slightly shaking.

"I want weekends"

Tessa sighed and nodded smiling.

"Of course Jace I understand that now Olivia come along"

"NO it's the weekend now and I wanna stay her until monday!"

"Jace" tessa said slightly upset

"Please Tessa if she gets worked up she'll have a sizure"

"And you think keeping her in the same place with a sex worker will make her feel better"

Okay now she was brining me into it.

"I'm not a sex working i'm a model for your information and I happen to love Jace"

"Just like you happen to love your boyfriend"

"He's not my boyfriend he's an abusive jerk who can rot in hell for hurting me"

Tessa glared and looked at giving up she got Olivia to calm down so she could leave but made it obvious she was uncomfortable with me.

"She's my daughter Jace remember that and Isabelle told me about your plan so you better be careful"

"No Tessa she's my daughter to"

She rolled her eyes and gave me a small smile.

"It was nice meeting you"

"You to"

With that Tessa walked out with olivia on her heels. Jace closed the door and I went and sat down on the couch. He came over and I set my head in his lap and we just laid there for a while trying to forget the world for a bit. "Clary?" he whispered storking my hair and I nodded. "I miss her" he said and I felt a tear slip from my eyes "me to." For another few moments everything was silent. "Jace" "Yes?" he asked me still stroking my hair "I love you." I didn't even have to look just by knowing him I knew he was smiling. "I love you to" he said giving me a small kiss. "You know Jace" I said "I wanna spend the rest of my life with you." He got up and sat down on the floor in front of me pressing a kiss to my lips. "So glad you say that" he said and whistled. In busted Olivia with Tessa and Jem right behind her smiling huge like everything before was just for act. "Here you go!" she handed Jace something and pressed a kiss on his cheek and mine right before running out the door again. Confused I started laughing at the situation I was in. Jace opened a box and hand me a ring.

"It's a promise ring I know cheesy right but you know the thought that counts? sorry i'm not good at this"

Once again I bust out laughing and kissed him.

"That was wonderful"

"Now you will always be my future baby maker"

"Oh shut up!" I giggled climbing down into his arms. Even if Olivia would only be here on the weekend it was okay I had Jace for the moment. The phone went off and I picked it up since it was Isabelle.

"Hello?"

"Hello Clarissa"

"Sebastian?"

_**Almost finished oh my god**_


	15. Chapter 15

I hung up as soon as I said it and the phone rang again. Jace picked it up and seemed to be having a some what civil conversation with you "Mhmm yep yeah goodbye now you little fucker." "Jace" I warned him when he hung up and he racked his fingers through his golden hair apparently thinking about everything going on at this moment. "Call the cops" I said like it was obvious and he shook his head no. "I need to do this" he got up and grabbed his jacket and I followed right behind him but he stopped me. "No i'm going alone" really he was trying to be a hero at this moment in time. Jace was so many things but he wasn't my hero not right now I wouldn't allow him. "I'm going i'm not staying home I started this and I will fucking end it." Before he could protest I pulled my coat on and walked out the door. Obviously upset he followed me locking the door behind him. "You're going to die" he said like he knew everything which always annoyed me. "No i'm not you just think you know everything" I snapped at him. Sighing I stopped and turned around giving him a hug and he kissed my forehead. We both apologized at the same time and he took my hand in his leading me down to his car. "You know if I knew this was going to be happening this morrning in the car I would've-" I cut him off laughing. "Yeah" I said smirking "I would've let you to." His face lit up into a smirk as we turned the corner. Jace hit the breaks and I bounced forwards narrowly missing hitting my head. I glared at him and he gave me a sorry smile. I looked forward and groaned we were stuck in a freaking traffic jame. Unable to keep patient I opened the door and Jace looked at me like I was crazy. I closed the door and motioned for him to pull into this parking lot. He did as I said and got out of the car locking everything. "To my apartment" I declared and he nodded putting his arm around me. "Follow the new york city road!" he called out and we started down the side walk together.

By the time we got there it was dark out and I sighed. Taking a bobby pin out of my hair I picked the lock to lobby and walked in giving the lobby man lester a smile.

"Back from vaction babe?"

"Yeah it's good to see you!"

"Want me to tell Sebastian?"

"Oh no it's a surprise I brought one of his old friends to"

Jace and him gave each other a smile and we retrated to the elevator. It dinged at our floor and I took a deep breath stepping out into the fimilar hallway. Slowly I creeped my way over to my old apartment door and pressed my ear to it. I heard nothing but suddenly there was a stirring and before I could react the door was opened and I fell on my face.

I slapped at him and screamed for him to get off of me while Jace struggled with him. Finally I managed to get my small ass out from under him and take off to our old room. "Isabelle!" I screamed and I heard her muffled exsaperation. Worrided about Jace It took all I had to open the door. She wasn't in the room frantic I ran over to the closet and threw the door open. There she was laying on her side. Hurridly I helped her up and ripped the duck tape off of her mouth. She held back a scream and I unbound her hands and feet. Quickly she rubbed them and we took off down the hallway quietly. When we got out there Jace was rolling around on the floor with Sebastian something pointy between them.

"JACE"

He looked up at the umbrella I threw at him. Quickly he reached up kicking Seb in the chest pushing both of them to different walls catching it. Jace got up and ran over smacking him multipule times in the side with the metal end. Growing angry Sebastian grabbed the other end and the began having a rug of war like five year olds. Honestly Jace really I thought you can't get it out of his fucking grip but you can shit kick him. Isabelle gave me a look of pure pity and I nodded in shame that I was being banged by that. Okay so yes this is a serious situation but come on I have to think positive some how. I raised my eyebrow and she nodded.

"one"

"Two"

"Three"

We both charged and jumped on Sebastians back. He yelped and fell back crushing Isabelle and I in process but we continued to hang on. Sebastian squirmed on his back but I kept a hold on his neck and Isabelle kept her arms tight around him. Scrambling Jace got on top of him and Isabelle and I pinned his arms down while he flailed his legs like crazy. Suddenly Jonathan busted in and I smiled at the sight of him.

"So you did get my message"

"Deffiently"

He held down his legs and I brought a pair of hand cuffs out from my coat pocket. They all looked at me surprised and I shurgged my shoulders at them.

"I'd say I was an undercover cop or knew a guy cause that would be cool but lets be honest here these were for me and Jace i'm really kinky i'm sorry"

Jonathan made a face of disgust and Isabelle laughed while Jace turned red with pride I was guessing. I clamped them on Sebastians wrists and he groaned in defeat.

"Dosen't feel good does it you bastard"

I kicked him in the side and he retracted into a ball in pain. Jonathan pulled him to his feet and I gave a small smirk when he looked at me.

"You're nothing without me your worthless"

"Belive it or not I don't care what you say anymore you just pushed me down to prove you where bigger than me and a man well guess what I don't need you i'm not worthless and I have people who actually care about me unlike you ever did and just so you know just cause you're bigger than me and can hurt me dosen't make you a man it makes you a little bitch"

I couldn't contain myself anymore I popped him in the nose and Isabelle dragged me away from him holding me back. He looked at me amazed as Jonathan pushed him out the door holding onto him. Jonathan actually was a cop so I just let him take him down to station. Jace held onto me kissing my neck lightly smiling.

"We did it"

"I know" I whispered

"Finally after over a year"

"It felt like an eternity considering your lips were never on mine"

He turned me to face him holding my cheek in his hand.

"I can make up for that you know"

"Then do it"

He pressed me up against the wall kissing me passionatly while Isabelle just stood there. A few moments later I heard the door close and I smiled against his lips. "Were all alone now" I moaned against his lips causing him to groan as he pressed harder against me turning me on instantly.

"Are you sure you wanna do it here?"

"I don't care all the bad is gone from this place it was mine first so whatever"

He kissed me once again pulling my jacket off one of my shoulders exposeing my skin. My eyes fluttered by the back of my head as he trailed his lips down my neck and to my arm. Jace started sucking the skin under my neck and my head fell back as I released a moan. Jumping up into his arms he kept kissing my neck while I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Just take me"

"I will...clary?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad I could be the one to save you this time"

I looked down into his eye smiling at him with all the love I had. Which was a lot.

"You were always meant to save me"

_**OMG ONE CHAPTER LEFT**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**One Year Later**_

"OLIVIA GET YOUR BUTT BACK IN HERE!"

Jace ran after our daughter while she giggled. God she was a handful sometimes but I loved her ever since the day I first saw her in his apartment. Her older siblings were hanging out in the living room with me and everyone else laughing when he finally came in.

"Got her"

He was carring her under his arm as he leaned down and kissed me. Probably more into it and longer than most of them wanted to see.

"Get a room oh my god"

"Maybe I will William"

His cousin will shot him a glare and Jace smiled. It turns out Will never died it was some weird spy thing. I still wasn't allowed to know the details of all of it. The situation with Tessa and jem with him though it was awkward but they were making the best of it I guess you could say. Will glared and pulled his son and daughter into his lap kissing their heads.

"Dad" she said embarrased

Will rolled his eyes and threw a present at me while I caught it.

"What's this for?"

"You just gave birth to that jackasses twins you deserve a fucking gift"

I started laughing and so did everyone else. Jace didn't find it funny though.

"I'm a lovable Jackass exsuce me"

"Yes you are" I said leaning up and kissing him. There was a sound of a door shutting and out came my brother jonathan my babies in his hands. Excited and just happy to see them he sat them down on my lap. Protectivly I wrappd my arms around them while they just sat up and looked around with excited eyes. Jace picked up our son happily and kissed his small golden head and looked into his green eyes. "How's daddys little boy?" without warning max reached out and slapped his dad in the face with his little hand yanking on his hair. Alec started busting out laughing when he saw Jace's pissed off look which caused me to giggle. "What's so funny?" Jace demanded still holding on to the baby in his hand. "You really don't know how to handel kids." Jace rolled his eyes "How hard can it be they're squishy little beings." Right as he said it Max threw up all over his face. I started cracking up laughing so hard our daughter looked up at me and started giggling her little baby laugh warming my heart. She head strawberry blonde hair and golden green eyes only two minutes younger than her brother. "Ready to take that back Jace?" I asked handing him annalise and he nodded. "Can I take them back?" he asked. "NO" everyone said at the same time and I pecked his cheek.

"Oh how am I going to handel this when you go back to modeling"

"you'll find a way Mr. CEO now that you work at home"

"I'll help" Magnus said and I smiled greatfully at him. "Just no glitter" I pleaded and he rolled his eyes. "You my darling Clarissa are no fun"

Three hours later everyone was gone and me and Jace were standing over the twins cribs in the dark as they slept. He smiled down at ana lovingly and pushed her hair out of her little face.

"One day she'll be a beautiful red head like her mother"

"I'll never be beautiful Jace"

He turned me to look at him and cupped my face in his hands.

"Don't you ever say that I love you I fucking love you with all my heart I made those babies with you and I would make a lot more but you know not for a while"

"Okay so no sex for awhile"

"Woah woah I never said anything about no sex"

I laughed into his shoulder and he held me kissing my forehead starting to go on.

"And one day she'll start liking boys and they'll make her cry and break her and she'll come running to her father that is me by the way and she'll cry and cry and i'll hold her and tell her everything will be okay and I will break the boy that broke her and then i'll have to explain babies and threaten every boy that comes to my door and if they get her pregnant I can make that baby disappear along with the father, one day she'll say shes ugly and she'll wonder why she can't look like other girls and ill stand there amazed and look to her and you and tell you both never to say those fucking words again because you're are both perfect and beautiful and my world and"

He was crying now and so was I.

"and I just don't want to lose her or you and" he choaked up "daddy didn't make no uglies." "Jace" I teased looking into his beautiful eyes. I took him over to the rocking chair and sat down on his lap kissing him softly in between my words.

"One day our son will be older and he'll be a snarky suductive boy like his perfect father he'll try girls out and go along with them and be that teen heart throb every girl wants he'll break hearts and you'll try and talk some sense into him but he wont listen but he'll be protective of his sister and tell everyone to treat her right or else then one day he'll meet some beautiful girl and he'll fall in love for the first time and im betting he'll come to us for it and maybe just maybe he can save that girl from herself and her demons"

Jace kissed me passionately and held me close not wanting to let me go.

"Perfect" he whispered

"Of course"

He picked me up and took me into our bedroom locking the door kissing me. Belive it or not those babies slept like rocks and so did olivia now. I didn't know it then but all that stuff would happen with our kids. When it did though we handeled it just fine. Some people aren't meant for saving but they are it just takes the right person to pull them into the light and show them the world they deserve.


	17. Chapter 17

Hey guys sorry I haven't been on lately I've been trying to get better and ive been going down hill really fast since ive stopped cutting I either don't eat or I cant stop and I break out crying and have freak outs and my grades are going down I cant concentrate I just I cant do anything and it really hurts and I don't know what to do anymore I just honestly wish id never put the blades down but I know its the best thing to do so just bare with me here im getting better its just going a little slow so thanks for the support and I love you guys


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